Txt-ELF: The latest crop

Here's badgermonkey's icon as well, to signify collaborative co-authorship efforts.

Detectives down under

badgermonkey:
"Mr W, why are you singing?"

"It's a request from t'client, that dear boy Dickie."

"But do you have to sing 'I Feel Pretty' in an orcish growl?"

"He asked me to."

lobelia321:
"Sing that golden oldie 'I'm Too Sexy for My Shirt'."

"Why, Richie?"

"So thet I can take it off for you."

"I'm not sure what my assistant will say about that."

badgermonkey:
"Just because you pay us, Rich, you think you can make Mr W do whatever you want."

"Yis, he sid you might be julous; come here and I'll pay you in kind."

( Plus: Miscellaneous Duck )

Topically political txt-slash

Detectives over yonder:
lobelia321:
"Blimey, Mr W, there's a letter; you've been elected head of undercover operations with the UN inspectors in Iraq."

"I do fancy that Saddam's moustache."

lobelia321:
"Mr Hussein, I need to search your bedroom."

"Very well, Robert bin Wainthropp, but don't open the chest lest war be nigh."

"T'chest, eh? Why-- Tony!"

"I can explain."

badgermonkey:
"So Tony, now I've found you out, tell me, are you a hawk or a dove?"

"I can tell you, he's neither; he's a tiger!"

"Oh, Saddam, do you really think so?"