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Final review of: Very long HP fic
Jul. 26th, 2010 10:41 pmThis is a sequel to my Interim review of: Very long HP fic.
I finished the very long fic I was reading by this author called![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
j_k_rowling. The fic is called Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. My reviewing activity, however, was interrupted by the World Cup! It is now resumed and concluded.
Pairing What Pairing?
The most puzzling aspect of this fic is its pairing. Namely: what the witch is the pairing? As the author chooses not to use Headers, it is very difficult to divine.
The fanart that somebody (jason_cockcroft made for her cover would lead one to believe that the pairing is Harry/Dumbledore. And there is, indeed, some Harry/Dumbledore action... but don't be misled! There are plenty of other pairings as well! Or would-be pairings. The problem is that this author never really gets any of them going. She can't seem to decide!!
Pairing Nr.1: Harry/Sirius Black
This one is pure angst. It arises from character death and is enacted in memories and hopeless yearning.
Verdict: Too much backstory. Remains vague and un-fleshed-out. Seems designed for sole purpose of a) triggering angst, and b) facilitating hurt/comfort:
"It was cruel," said Dumbledore softly, "that you and Sirius had such a short time together. A brutal ending to what should have been a long and happy relationship."
Pairing Nr.2: Harry/Dean Thomas
Somewhat crudely introduced in the form of a girl/boy/boy triangle. Ginny is gratuitously wheeled on to provide the jealousy motivator. But it's still perfectly clear what's really going on when Harry stumbles across Ginny snogging Dean in the corridor:
Dean was looking embarrassed. He gave Harry a shifty grin that Harry did not return, as the new-born monster inside him was roaring for Dean's instant dismissal from the team.
Yes. The new-born monster of jealousy!
...want to rip Dean limb from limb for kissing her ... no ... he would have to control that particular brotherly feeling...
Aside from the wanton use of ellipses to signal passion and the coy use of the term brotherly (yes, yes, we get that this is a G-rating), this is quite a delicious little pairing with much promise of deep desires finally revealed, snatched snogs on the Quidditch pitch, and the consumption of 'fraternal' frisson. However, frustratingly, the author does not develop this. It just gets dropped somewhere along the way as she lurches into:
Pairing Nr.3: Harry/Ron
Blink and you'll miss it.
"You're not pathetic and you're not resigning!" said Harry fiercely, seizing Ron by the front of his robes.
It's as if the author was just dutifully nodding towards one of the great OTPs of the fandom.
Or has no clue and has never read any proper Harry/Ron to see how it's done.
Because this is where her heart truly lies:
Pairing Nr.4: Harry/Draco
After a long detour and build-up, we finally arrive at one of the most classic pairings of them all, and it's done in totally mainstream fanon fashion. Draco is a walking cliché of sulking, brooding, smirking and angsting blondness. Harry is the epitome of reluctance and resistance but simply can't help himself. Very much in the mould ofresonant8's Transfigurations. 'Transfigurations' predates Half-Blood Prince by two years (2003 vs 2005) and the latter's author has clearly drawn on it.
Harry, however, had never been less interested in Quidditch; he was rapidly becoming obsessed with Draco Malfoy.
There's a satisfying scene of ( not worksafe ), followed by desperate hurt/comfort/angst/bloodplay:
"No--- I didn't---"
Harry did not know what he was saying; he fell to his knees beside Malfoy, who was shaking uncontrollably in a pool of his own blood.
But that's it! Interactio interruptus!
Some other pairings
There follows some Dumbledore/Harry action:
"I am not worried, Harry," said Dumbledore, "I am with you."
And a major Mary Sue episode:
Harry kissed her.
Plus there's a nice little Crabbe/Goyle-in-drag sub-plot.
But nothing is developed! Nor are these pairings properly built-up with UST!
The fic is constantly being derailed by over-plotty action sequences! Yes, explosions are all well and good, and don't we all love a bit of fight-to-the-death and braving freezing waters but doesn't this author know that the only point behind action fighting is the final insertion of sword into sheath? The gasping, the tearing at each others' clothes, the punch to the stomach transformed into a breathless groping??
Where's the text?
Canon has a text and we find the sub-text. But this is something this author hasn't yet grasped: she hasn't excavated the sub-text enough. She's put it all in but hasn't really developed it. All her pairings are left hanging.
Maybe next time?
I finished the very long fic I was reading by this author called
j_k_rowling. The fic is called Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. My reviewing activity, however, was interrupted by the World Cup! It is now resumed and concluded.Pairing What Pairing?
The most puzzling aspect of this fic is its pairing. Namely: what the witch is the pairing? As the author chooses not to use Headers, it is very difficult to divine.
The fanart that somebody (
jason_cockcroft made for her cover would lead one to believe that the pairing is Harry/Dumbledore. And there is, indeed, some Harry/Dumbledore action... but don't be misled! There are plenty of other pairings as well! Or would-be pairings. The problem is that this author never really gets any of them going. She can't seem to decide!!
Pairing Nr.1: Harry/Sirius Black
This one is pure angst. It arises from character death and is enacted in memories and hopeless yearning.
Verdict: Too much backstory. Remains vague and un-fleshed-out. Seems designed for sole purpose of a) triggering angst, and b) facilitating hurt/comfort:
"It was cruel," said Dumbledore softly, "that you and Sirius had such a short time together. A brutal ending to what should have been a long and happy relationship."
Pairing Nr.2: Harry/Dean Thomas
Somewhat crudely introduced in the form of a girl/boy/boy triangle. Ginny is gratuitously wheeled on to provide the jealousy motivator. But it's still perfectly clear what's really going on when Harry stumbles across Ginny snogging Dean in the corridor:
Dean was looking embarrassed. He gave Harry a shifty grin that Harry did not return, as the new-born monster inside him was roaring for Dean's instant dismissal from the team.
Yes. The new-born monster of jealousy!
...want to rip Dean limb from limb for kissing her ... no ... he would have to control that particular brotherly feeling...
Aside from the wanton use of ellipses to signal passion and the coy use of the term brotherly (yes, yes, we get that this is a G-rating), this is quite a delicious little pairing with much promise of deep desires finally revealed, snatched snogs on the Quidditch pitch, and the consumption of 'fraternal' frisson. However, frustratingly, the author does not develop this. It just gets dropped somewhere along the way as she lurches into:
Pairing Nr.3: Harry/Ron
Blink and you'll miss it.
"You're not pathetic and you're not resigning!" said Harry fiercely, seizing Ron by the front of his robes.
It's as if the author was just dutifully nodding towards one of the great OTPs of the fandom.
Or has no clue and has never read any proper Harry/Ron to see how it's done.
Because this is where her heart truly lies:
Pairing Nr.4: Harry/Draco
After a long detour and build-up, we finally arrive at one of the most classic pairings of them all, and it's done in totally mainstream fanon fashion. Draco is a walking cliché of sulking, brooding, smirking and angsting blondness. Harry is the epitome of reluctance and resistance but simply can't help himself. Very much in the mould of
resonant8's Transfigurations. 'Transfigurations' predates Half-Blood Prince by two years (2003 vs 2005) and the latter's author has clearly drawn on it.Harry, however, had never been less interested in Quidditch; he was rapidly becoming obsessed with Draco Malfoy.
There's a satisfying scene of ( not worksafe ), followed by desperate hurt/comfort/angst/bloodplay:
"No--- I didn't---"
Harry did not know what he was saying; he fell to his knees beside Malfoy, who was shaking uncontrollably in a pool of his own blood.
But that's it! Interactio interruptus!
Some other pairings
There follows some Dumbledore/Harry action:
"I am not worried, Harry," said Dumbledore, "I am with you."
And a major Mary Sue episode:
Harry kissed her.
Plus there's a nice little Crabbe/Goyle-in-drag sub-plot.
But nothing is developed! Nor are these pairings properly built-up with UST!
The fic is constantly being derailed by over-plotty action sequences! Yes, explosions are all well and good, and don't we all love a bit of fight-to-the-death and braving freezing waters but doesn't this author know that the only point behind action fighting is the final insertion of sword into sheath? The gasping, the tearing at each others' clothes, the punch to the stomach transformed into a breathless groping??
Where's the text?
Canon has a text and we find the sub-text. But this is something this author hasn't yet grasped: she hasn't excavated the sub-text enough. She's put it all in but hasn't really developed it. All her pairings are left hanging.
Maybe next time?