Christian / Olli: The mystery of the oranges

[lobelia321]

Props in Verbotene Liebe, part 1.

My lurv for the dreadful German daytime soap and its lurvely Christian / Olli boy/boy sub-plot melodrama continues.

But what about the mystery of the oranges??



Location: The attic apartment of Christian and Olli. Note the back kitchen wall. Note the spiral wire rack with four oranges therein.

Episode 22.11.07. 22 November 2007.
Note oranges.


Episode 15.2.08. 15 February 2008.
Nobody has eaten the oranges. The oranges have not rotted away.


Oh, and what's this? Oranges again!
5.3.08. 5 March 2008.


And just in case you missed them (the oranges): A close-up!


Several points are to be made about the Apfelsinengeheimnis!

• Mysterious forces of eternal youth are present in the apartment. These forces may also account for Olli's astounding kissing powers. If once you've been kissed by Olli, you will Never Forget It!

• An orange a day keeps the homophobes away. Residents of the apartment consume oranges so quickly and replenish them so speedily, that neither of these actions is visible to the naked eye. Orange consumption and replenishment take place in between shots, in the nano-interstices of digitalised life.

• These oranges are plastic. They are a decorative feature. They tell us something about the aesthetic sense and interior-design taste of Christian. And possibly Coco. (I think the oranges precede Olli's move into the flat but this would have to be confirmed by further research.)

• Fruit feature frequently. Lemons and limes spill out of a basket in the restaurant Schneider's. Apples and bananas tumble out of shopping bags, brought into the kitchen by Olli or Christian. Fruit symbolise the fecundity and orgiastic passions of the soap's inhabitants!

• An extra-terrestrial creature from a parallel generic universe has snuck in through sekrit channels in daytime television land and planted this innocent-looking device in the kitchen of C and O. They may look like oranges but they are actually filled with deadly killer aphrodisiac!

• The wire spirals as do the meanderings of true love. The oranges never multiply and never diminish, and this is like the constancy of hearts. But the wire spiral never fills up with oranges all the way to the top! This is the ceaseless yearning and burning of the passionate soul for its mate!!!

• There were lots of oranges. Christian ate them all and replaced them with rubber decoys. Sometimes he uses the oranges as sex toys in bed with Oliver but he always puts them back (unwashed).

• Christian put the oranges into the wire rack. Now he can't figure out how to get them out again. So he sprayed them with formaldehyde to prevent the flat from smelling of mould.

Can't see the pics? Go here and click 'next'.


Do these oranges need to be slashed?
Of course they do.

"Oh, wire rack, you are so tight tonight. You hug me so fiercely as I lie squeezed between my fellows."

"Oh, orange-in-the-middle, you may look identical to your brethren but I... I... have fallen in love with you. Volle Kanne."

"Oh, wire rack... But please don't bring the Kanne into it. That jug is much too vulgar."

"I don't know. A threesome?"

"Oh wire rack, I long to penetrate the fullness of your spiral tube."

"Orange, I yearn to take you, all of you, all of your big round flesh. And then I want to press you until the juices squirt and your pulp oozes out and coats all of my wires."

"Wire rack! I hear someone coming!"

"Don't worry, my fat orange darling. It's only one of the humans. They never come near us."

"But... oh no! What's happening? Help! The human... he's taking me out! He's... moving me towards his mouth! He's... piercing my skin with his pointy teeth!"

"Orange! Orange! Orange!"

The End of the Tragedy.

Comments

Oranges

[montferrat.livejournal.com]

I'm gonna go with : Symbols of fecundity

"Don't worry, my fat orange darling."

*gasp*..*wheeze* This? Killed me!

[thelana.livejournal.com]

"Oh, orange-in-the-middle, you may look identical to your brethren but I... I... have fallen in love with you.

This is my favorite one for some reason.

Of course in my mind it goes like this.

"Oh, orange-in-the-middle, you may look identical to your brethren but I... I... have fallen in love with you."

"Actually my name is Gisbert"

;p

(BTW; still can't see the picture)

[mystisblom.livejournal.com]

"Oh wire rack, I long to penetrate the fullness of your spiral tube."

OMG Dies!
This is awsome *G*

[frogspace.livejournal.com]

(BTW; still can't see the picture)

I think there is something wrong with the coding or the formatting. I can open them as tif files. Try this:

http://pics.livejournal.com/lobelia321/pic/000ct4yw
http://pics.livejournal.com/lobelia321/pic/000cwagf
http://pics.livejournal.com/lobelia321/pic/000cxee9
http://pics.livejournal.com/lobelia321/pic/000cy076

[tansu.livejournal.com]

So, these ripe, juicy fruit, they seem to want to be peeled and eaten. They would be unfulfilled if they were not peeled and eaten: peeled, undressed, divested, and rendered open and vulnerable and ready to gush forth juice. Consider also the act of peeling an orange - penetrating the peel with thumbs and fingers, peeling it back and in that process enjoying the contact between hand-flesh and fruit-flesh, forcing hand-flesh against peel and fruit-flesh to strip away the peel and reveal the naked and ready inner flesh. Then the orange is eaten, bitten, sucked and the juice of its flesh tasted and savoured, then the fingers licked and sucked so as not to waste any pleasure.

So, those oranges.

[frogspace.livejournal.com]

Do these oranges need to be slashed?

See, they are round, which means the only slash I can imagine here is femslash. The last time someone convinced me that you can slash something round was when Aphelion wrote her ./, slash story Das Komma, das auszog, den Punkt zu finden and I fear it will remain an exception. (It's flocked but you can read my review here. XD)

Mysterious forces of eternal youth are present in the apartment.

The wire spiral was a gift from Christian's father and Christian keeps it for sentimental reasons (Although his petrol station robbing dad stole it somewhere; Christian doesn't know that.). It's obviously an Ancient device and no one has noticed. The reason why the oranges keep fresh is that Christian has the ATA gen and he accidentally activated the device when he put the oranges in there.

Because he was in prison and agreed to some testing (who knows why) his genetic profile is on record and the SGC finds him when they are looking for more international personnel for the Atlantis station. He is a waiter, something the Atlantis canteen desperately needs, and Oliver was a steward and is a waiter too, so they allow him to accompany Christian. They bring the wire spiral as a personal item and McKay accuses them of using it as a secret weapon to keep him away from the kitchen. Alternatively he thinks they want to kill him.

My interpretation.

[bunnysquee.livejournal.com]

i can't see any of your pictures *woe* however, despite not seeing the oranges, if i weren't at work, i would howl with laughter at your fic.

i can't begin to tell you how much i love your brain!

[ios-pillow-book.livejournal.com]

*sporfles* On, noes ... orange slash! Total der Wahnsinn!

It's beeen years and years since I last watched VL (at that time it was actually about a brother and a sister being in love with each other, who, of course (soap!), didn't know they were siblings, but that's why the love was verboten). Anyway, you almost make me watch it again - didn't know there's boy!kissing in VL now, whoa, that's something - but only almost. I rather stick to your fic version. Your take on soaps is by far superior.

Um, did they actually say, "Ich bin volle Kanne in Dich verliebt?" Sounds odd somehow. I'm trying to think of a better context for the 'Kanne', perhaps "jetzt gib ma' Gas, Alter, volle Kanne, ejh ..."

[yellow-oranges.livejournal.com]

There is something about an orange. ;)

[witheredsong.livejournal.com]

Here searching Olli/Christian, but now totally converted to orange-slash. So juicy, le scandal!!!

[acari.livejournal.com]

You are completely cracked, you know that? *laughs and laughs*

[acari.livejournal.com]

So what you mean is that The Wire Spiral is a portable stasis device, it bends the space-time continuum to keep items in a constant state of flux to override the natural aging process in our universe.

McKay may be right, of course. It could be a formidable weapon, but it is also filled with oranges. A fruit in the "death death death" family; Mckay would never touch it. But.

Guess what could happen if someone decided they wanted an orange right now and reached into The Wire Spiral. Would their body begin to disintegrate on a quantum level beginning with their hand because of the different forces acting upon the arm? Would it create a singularity that swallowed the known universe? Is Christian a descendant of Merlin? Does the key to destroying the Ori hang on the wall of a WG in Schlagmichtotweißnichtwo? Nobody knows. Dun dun dun.

This theory was brought to you by Sci-fi. Teaching how to bullshit physics since... some date I do not know.

(OMG youtube load already, I'm going crazy over here.)

Re: Oranges

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Heh, thank you.

*grins*

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Gisbert?

*bursts out laughing*

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Thank you. It's all that training in household object slash with badgermonkey in days of yore... *gg*

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

*feels faint*

I have now also spotted tomatoes, apples, lemons and onions in Verbotene Liebe.

The possibilities of inter-species penetration!

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

omg that Punkt Komma story. I will throw myself at the mercy of Aphelion and get her to unflock for me. *must read Satzzeichenslash*

The orange rack is an Ancient device!!!!! *falls over with a thud* That, woman, is genius! And I've already written 2,000 words of fic about just that. Froggy, u rok!

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

omg, of course, McKay would have nothing to do with it! Oranges! And he'd be the only one who could solve the puzzle because nobody else is such a Genius. But meanwhile Christian is writhing on the floor with Chuck the technician.

I have clearly already been transported by the portable device.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Here, have an orange in icon form. *giggles*

Thank you, m'dear, for reading!

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Ooh, yes, I've seen links to that brother/sister plot line. *nods* Total verboten! Everything in VL is verboten! Especially the shirts! And there is now plenty of boy kissing on VL - and hints of boy sex! And squee.

And yes, they do say volle Kanne in dich verliebt. This is canon. Or should I say Kannon? Ack. 'Ick bin vollet Rohr in dir verliebt, wa.'

But Kanne is canon. Totally.

See the delicious episode of 04.04.08 here: http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=qiIDFsvBnTQ

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Oh, yes, there is, isn't there!!! *laughs*

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, and now canon offers tomatoes, apples, lemons and onions as well! 'tis a veritable vegetal orgy!!!

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Heh. I blame the soap boys. *g*

[minavox.livejournal.com]

Finally I know what you're talking about! Now I can howl with laughter informed. Makes all the difference! :)

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Hahaha! You watched episodes, did you?! Ah, it's a slippery, slippery, slippery slope.

[minavox.livejournal.com]

Even worse: I took precious free time blagged of the bf and father of the child under the guise of urgent work.... slippery, indeed. :)