Crack!ficlet Tree

[lobelia321]

zarah5 said:
Damn, I want someone to write a D'Or tree story.

So I wrote one. It's in Zarah's LJ here but also

.

"Dom, what are you doing?"

"I'm pretending to be a tree. Isn't it obvious?"

"Well, I guess so. In fact, it took me a few minutes to recognise you just now, under all those leaves and twigs and stuff, man, you know. But, Dom, why are you pretending to be a tree?"

"Well, people like hugging trees, don't they?"

"*Some* people like hugging trees, man, you know. Oi, don't come too near with those branches of yours; you might smudge my satin frilly shirt."

"But I'm wearing a very similar one myself, underneath all this foliage. Wanna see?"

"No. Sorry, man, got to go now. My elf vision senses a reporter coming in the distance."

"Come back, Orli! Come back! And take your dog with you, won't you!! Shit, now he has pissed on me. I'm not a *real* tree, you know, you stupid mutt."