I'm too pure for porn

[lobelia321]

Ack! According to the Purity Test, I am 70.14 per cent pure!

No wonder I have to write porn. See? This is why I need to adulterate! I'm 40 years old and woefully under-debauched!

I scored 70¼% on the classic 400 Point Purity Test!

Take the test here!

Fun test, though. Hilarious to read.

Comments

[lazulus]

Darling Lobelia, if it's any consolation, I got 74.5% on that test.

*lick*

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

*lick*

See, screen-licking was not part of the test. The test is altogether skewed towards *real life* debauchery.

*pouts in corner*

[lazulus]

Ha! Very good point! I may have to make a test that is about online debauchery.

You'd score brilliantly at one of those!

*smooches the pout*

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

I may have to make a test that is about online debauchery.
You'd score brilliantly at one of those!

Heh, "The Orc's Tongue" alone would propel me into the 10 per cent league of purity. Hah!

Still. I'd like a bit of rl too. Not necessarily the defecation part, though.

[lazulus]

Not necessarily the defecation part, though.

God, no! Honestly, the things people find sexually exciting. *shudder*

[badgermonkey.livejournal.com]

A completely pointless and long test. Fantastic.

I got 61.75%, btw. I am offically 9% more debauched than you.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

I am offically 9% more debauched than you.

* screams and hits you with handbag *

How can this be? Ack, what have you done that I haven't? I NEED TO KNOW. Don't tell me: it's the stealing of used underwear!

[badgermonkey.livejournal.com]

A lady never divulges her answers.

It's nothing to do with small animals, though, I promise.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Oh, the small animal questions were hilarious! And an eye-opener. Somehow the concept had never occurred to me. But speaking of badgers....

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Your phenomenal score clouded my brain the whole time I was doing the test, and then *this*.

What DID YOU DO? I *need to know*. Felch goats?

[freyafloyd.livejournal.com]

I don't know, and having read back through the test, I realised there were some things I'd done and forgotten about, so I hadn't ticked them.

I cannot understand how I have led this depraved life without knowing it.

I presumed everyone was as depraved as me.

It has come as a shock.

Even my rpg character was only 3% more impure than me, and he has been involved in some very dodgy activites.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

I cannot understand how I have led this depraved life without knowing it.
Possibly this is the answer. Drunken and/or drug-induced stupors are obviously the trick here.

I presumed everyone was as depraved as me.
Oh I wish, I fucken' wish.

[lazulus]

Have just pointed out to freyafloyd that deleting her comment has only made it look as if she said something truly debauched.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Yes, how could this happen? Are other people allowed to delete comments from MY livejournal?

*huffs and puffs*

[lazulus]

Well, yes. They can indeed delete their own comments.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Otoh, I can retrieve their deleted comments from my email notification and re-paste them in.

HAHA!

[lazulus]

*rolls eyes*

[jennandanica.livejournal.com]

i was rather surprised by my score of 51.5 *blushes* but it's even worse because there were two things i wouldn't admit to doing even on this stupid test which only i was going to see so who knows what my score would have been... shouldn't i gain some points back for not having done anything too out-there in the last few years?

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

51.5????!!!! Ack!

Has everyone else had a *life*?

This is terrible. I must start stealing people's underclothes and doing things with animals, it's quite clear.

[jennandanica.livejournal.com]

yes, but you do notice that there was no question asking whether you actually write porn and lots of it. to my mind, your score just went down another 20 pts at least *pokes you with an evil grin*

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Yes, *sighs*, that's what lazulus pointed out. If this test measured my *fic* purity, "The Orc's Tongue" alone would propel me into instant impure land.

Alas, projecting one's fantasies pathetically into patently fictitious scenarios doeth not an impure person make.

[jennandanica.livejournal.com]

would it make you feel any better if i told you that three-quarters of the stuff that got me that score really wasn't all that much fun *holding crossed fingers behind back* *eg*

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

No, lol!

Because fun or not, you *did* it. And I want it, too, including the not-having-fun bit. Hell, I'll be bored out of my brains just to sink a bit lower on the purity scale!