FICLET: 5/? "Sitting on a Chair" (Orli/parcel)

[lobelia321]

FICLET: "Sitting on a Chair"
SERIES: Nr. 5 of the Boring!Orli storyverse. Nr 4 is here.
Author: Lobelia; lobelia40@yahoo.com
Pairing: Orlando Bloom / parcel



Orli sat on a chair. It was a wooden chair, with wooden armrests, but the wood on the seat, back and armrests was padded with green chequered chintz. The chintz had a cigarette burn toward the front of the seat and was in general quite sweat-stained.

Next to the chintz-covered chair, there stood three other identical chintz-covered chairs, arranged in a line along the wall. Across from Orli, a similar line of chairs stood impassively. A young man with hennaed hair and a bandana round his neck sat on the extreme left one. He was leafing through a magazine titled 'Home and Away'. It had a picture of a man in a chunky Norwegian jumper on the cover, holding a hunting hound by the scruff of its neck. The issue was three months out of date. Above the man's head, a poster advised readers to 'Quit smoking now!' Above the poster, there hung a laminated announcement, printed out in point 20 bold New Times font: 'If you have to miss an appointment, please contact the surgery! Appointments save lives!'

Orli stuck his hand in the right-hand waist pocket of his leather jacket. He pulled out the now-crumpled and torn-open pack of tissues. He pulled out a wad of used tissue; it was drenched in blood and grit. The man opposite lifted his head from 'Home and Away' and looked at the tissue. Orli gave him an apologetic smile and dropped the tissue in a plastic, orange-coloured bin. He sat back down and pulled out the last item in his right waist pocket: the small, rectangular parcel, covered in brown paper, smeared with blood.

"Here, take this!" the woman with the bleeding arm had said, her eyes wide with fear as the first sirens wailed up the road towards the supermarket of horror. "Take it, take it! Take it to that address and, whatever you do, don't let the police get it!"

She then gave one last gasp, stood up and ran into the supermarket. Police cars mounted the kerb. Their blue lights flashed, their sirens oogled, their exhausts spewed forth monoxide. "Put your hands on your head and lie on the ground face down!" came a voice through a megaphone.

Orli put the packet in his pocket, put his hands on his head and lay face down.

"I will hand this parcel over to the police." But then his eyes caught sight of his wristwatch. The watch read 'twenty-five past one'. Oops, better hurry! Orli looked left, Orli looked right. Orli crawled away round the corner, stood up, brushed his hands against his jeans and walked off toward the surgery.

Which was where he now was.

In the surgery.

With a mysterious parcel that appeared to be on the most-wanted list of the municipal police force as well as of a bunch of criminal, shotgun-wielding types in black suits.

Orli looked at the parcel. The blood-smudged texta note on the outside read, '16 Blue Moon Close.'

That was all.

Blue Moon Close. "Strange."

That's where Dom lived.

-----

TBC

21 June 2003

lobelia40@yahoo.com

Comments

[dantana.livejournal.com]

Oooh, dun dun dunnn....the plot thickens. And so ripe with action.


(I love this.)

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Oooh, a new reader! Thank you for commenting! And for liking the thick plot. ;-)

[cinzia.livejournal.com]

What, no wart? Tsk tsk.
Otoh, now we've got Dom. (And a parcel.)
*munches on popcorn*
*waits for #6*
*chews on nails*
*waits*
;)

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Heh. Well, I didn't want to overwork the poor wart concept... but he *is* in the surgery!

Don't turn into Elijah!

[crazybutsound]

*tackles* Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Dom! And hahahaha. I can't get the idea of Orli on all fours and crawling out of my head, though. Am not sure if it's funny, hot, kinky... mmmm... *ponders*

Oh, but Dom! Mysterious parcel, mysterious warts, neurotic Orli... blood, sweat, tears (sorry, got carried away), and now.... Dom!!!!!11!!!1111

*swoons*

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Told you I had an idea re Dom. *winks*

You are so funny to find Orli crawling in front of the supermarket *kinky*! *holds sides with laughter at the way readers twist boring!Orli into something more enticing*

[badgermonkey.livejournal.com]

Well, *I* don't find crawling Orli (Crorli?) enticing or kinky. So.

But damn you! I have read all of these. Although it's not exactly slash so it's OK, I suppose.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Oh no, it's not slash. It's entirely gen. Er, origfic even. The equivalence of names is pure coincidence.

I do realise iniquity of below-belt strategy of dedicating fic to fic-resistrix. Is beneath dignity &c.

lol wtf 111 like kewl @-@ (The whole thing is, in fact, entirely inspired by Lotswings. Except in a very *gen* way.)

[badgermonkey.livejournal.com]

Yes but as we can see from the Park Ranger incident, something that was once supposed to be FPS (ie, Lotswings) could become RPF by a few mere RL plot twists. So who indeed can ensure that genfic stays genfic? How are you to know that the spurious excuse of coincidental names will not soon be undermined entirely? What if the film rights for your ficlets were purchased and a certain Orlando Bloom employed to play the lead role? Then genfic (ahem, yeah right) would become both Real and Fictional and I could legitmately complain of being enticed most cruelly into reading that which I have spurned.

Er, I don't think this makes any sense. My excuse: I have been out in the sun and I am still a-squee, etc.

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

*wipes sweat from brow*

You've been writing these so fast, I've had trouble catching up. I adore them. They are like Rich Tea biscuits, which seem plain and dull until you realise you've eaten the entire packet and crave more, more, more. Only with more shoot-outs and mysterious packages. So maybe Orli is the Rich Tea biscuit lost in a world of trifle and sorbet and rich chocolate layer cake. Er... this dessert analogy is tenuous. *stops dessert analogy*

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

*stops dessert analogy*

*laughs uncontrollably for 32 seconds*

Yes, I was getting lost there for a bit. Not that I mind getting lost in the maze of Orlando among layers of trifle.

Thanks so much for your comment. I love the Rich Tea comparison. And I didn't think that others would find these interesting - they are certainly great fun to *write* but I didn't know what they would be like to *read*.

Heh, now of course I'm starting to become embroiled in the plottiness of what I was trying to get away from by devising boring!Orli...

[bunnysquee.livejournal.com]

i read this installment this morning and had to run errands before i could comment. i was grinning like an idiot the entire time i was out. a packet of tissues made me laugh in a socially unacceptable manner. if i had seen an orange rubbish bin, i don't think i would have made it home. this is way too much fun. i await the next chapter with bated breath.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

I'm starting to think that what is *most* fun about writing this insane series is the ongoing fb I'm getting!

*keels over with laughter at image of orlisbunny traversing Toronto with an eye on tissue and garbage bins* Yes, the delicate line between fiction and fact...!

Thanks so much for all your comments. They *inspire*!