lobelia321: (orli this big)
[personal profile] lobelia321
FICLET: "Paying the Taxi Driver"
SERIES: Nr. 12 of the Boring!Orli series. Back to nr. 11.

Author: Lobelia; lobelia40@yahoo.com
Pairing: Orlando Bloom / Viggo Mortensen / Johnny Depp




Viggo stood on the landing outside Orli's flat. He stood on one leg. His right hand was braced against the wall for balance. His other hand was folded around his right foot. The foot was in pain. This was because a heavy piece of luggage had just fallen on it. Fallen on the foot and then tumbled down half a flight of stairs towards the man standing in the ground floor entrance hall.

That man was the taxi driver. He looked impatient. He looked sceptical. He wanted his money, and he wanted it now. And he wasn't going to take any lame excuses about his fare not "having had a chance to get British money" and about "just having arrived in the UK and being under the impression that euros would suffice".

"Orlando?" Viggo continued his vigorous knocking on the non-descript door. He pressed his eye to the spyhole at eye-height. He rattled the chrome doorknob.

The taxi driver crossed his arms and tapped his foot.

The door opened. Viggo, in mid-knock, lost his footing and flopped forwards. He landed in someone's warm arms. He fell against someone's hard chest. He smelled someone's sweat-soaked desire.

"Johnny. What are you doing here?"

"I..." said Johnny. "I..."

"Viggo!" cried Orli's voice from inside the corridor. "So nice to..." There was the sound of a zipper being pulled up. "... see you!" And then Orli's head appeared around Johnny's shoulder. "I was just... Well, wait until you hear all that's been happening. I mean... Wow, who's that man?"

"Taxi driver. This is a bit embarrassing, but do you have some cash to give this man?"

Orli dug around for cash. Orli dashed into the kitchen to put the kettle on. Orli reappeared, breathless, at the door. Orli laughed at Viggo. Orli laughed at Johnny. Orli's eyes were as wild as two untamed cheetahs let loose in a cage full of rabbits. Orli was bubbling over with excitement and when he spoke, his tale went into fifteen directions all at once and the kettle spewed forth useless steam.

"Hang on, hang on," said Viggo, not quite sure whether to sit down on the sofa or follow Orli into the kitchen and whether to acknowledge Johnny Depp's presence or simply skirt his body like some natural obstacle, a hat stand, perhaps, or a 1950s tallboy, because Johnny was standing stock-still between kitchen and living room, half-blocking the way to each. His hair was a mess.

"Your hair is a mess," Orli said to Johnny in passing and reached up to ruffle it. Then Orli lifted up Viggo's wrist, twisted it round to look at the Swatch and said, "Almost time for my next lot of ointment." Then he sprinted to the phone, dialled a number and said, "Dom? It's me. I can't believe we have to go down to the station again. Guess what? Viggo's just arrived. Do you think they have a new lead? I mean, what was so important about that videotape anyway? Do you think secret clues were planted in it? Yes, yes, that's nice about your new record of the Satin Overground, but let's just think about this tape thing." Then he put down the phone, hastened back into the kitchen, looked around vaguely for mugs and teabags, forgot to assemble them, left teabags dangling abortively into the sink and mugs yawning on the sidelines, because he was off to the bathroom. The door banged shut with a decisive click.

"What happened to him?" said Viggo. He peered more closely at the whites of Johnny's eyes. "And what happened to you? I'm Viggo, by the way. Pleased to meet you."

"I..." said Johnny.

Viggo grabbed a teabag and a mug and manfully made his own tea. He searched the fridge for some milk.

"He seems so agitated. Don't you think, Johnny? Not like his usual self at all."

"No," Johnny said dreamily. "Not like his old self."

Viggo sat down on one of the kitchen chairs and took a thoughtful sip. "No," he said slowly. "Not like his old self. He seems somehow more... I don't know, more... interesting."

"Yeah, he does, doesn't he?" said Johnny in a veritable haze of ecstasy.

Viggo frowned. "I don't like it. Something's wrong. I liked the old Orli better."

"What?" Johnny snorted. "The repressed boring one?"

"The real Orli," said Viggo.

-----
TBC
lobelia40@yahoo.com
3 August 2003

(no subject)

Date: 2003-08-03 01:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brightest-blue.livejournal.com
Hah! Orli and Johnny practically caught in flagrante!! And no, Orli is not very boring anymore, is he? What with the ointment, tape, Dom's record collection, Johnny's hair (mmmmm) and Viggo's lack of cash . . . I'm with Viggo. Where is my boring! boy? *g*

(no subject)

Date: 2003-08-04 03:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lobelia321.livejournal.com
You're with Viggo! *laughs*

Thanks for the comment. I was worried getting back into this after the hiatus.

(no subject)

Date: 2003-08-03 01:38 am (UTC)
ext_14641: (fair)
From: [identity profile] cinzia.livejournal.com
You made me read Viggorli. Am still reeling from shock. ;)

Viggo grabbed a teabag and a mug and manfully made his own tea.
Yeah. That's my man. *pets cute manly!Viggo*

And Viggo liked boring!Orli better! That's True Lurve! OMG! ...and is Orli really in there applying more of the ointment? ...OMG!!!1

*is enthralled* :D

(no subject)

Date: 2003-08-04 03:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lobelia321.livejournal.com
Viggorli! I hadn't even thought that it was this, but yes! *has horror attack*

And I'm glad you reminded me that "meanwhile back on the farm" Orli was applying ointment. Yup, will definitely figure in chapter 13! *grins*

(no subject)

Date: 2003-08-03 05:48 am (UTC)
ext_14277: (Default)
From: [identity profile] eyebrowofdoom.livejournal.com
Orli's eyes were as wild as two untamed cheetahs let loose in a cage full of rabbits.

!!!!

!!

How I love you.

(no subject)

Date: 2003-08-04 03:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lobelia321.livejournal.com
Heh.

You mad old sweet thing.

Why are you not writing, btw?

(no subject)

Date: 2003-08-06 08:56 am (UTC)
ext_14277: (Default)
From: [identity profile] eyebrowofdoom.livejournal.com
Hah, because everything is shit and I hate everything! Well, the Balrog fic is getting there. And actually talking to Laz about how I could never get that bloody sequel to Beer and Skittles done got me working on it again. If only, partly, to delineate how much I still have to do. Probably I will look at it again tomorrow and file it under "everything: see above"... ah, well.

(no subject)

Date: 2003-08-07 01:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lobelia321.livejournal.com
Oh dear, it's like that? *hands you Lakritz and pornographic Orlando blow-up doll with battery-activated live-action tongue attachment*

(no subject)

Date: 2003-08-07 09:41 pm (UTC)
ext_14277: (Default)
From: [identity profile] eyebrowofdoom.livejournal.com
Well, now. Has it been cleaned since its last use? :P

(no subject)

Date: 2003-08-08 01:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lobelia321.livejournal.com
Cleaned in Viggo's cum.

(no subject)

Date: 2003-08-11 06:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lobelia321.livejournal.com
Does that mean you'll still have it?

(no subject)

Date: 2003-08-11 06:44 am (UTC)
ext_14277: (Default)
From: [identity profile] eyebrowofdoom.livejournal.com
I'll not just have it, I'll *have* it.

(no subject)

Date: 2003-08-11 08:35 am (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2003-08-03 08:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladyjaida.livejournal.com
... you know, I wish to profess my undying love to you. This series is possibly the most brilliant RPS I have ever read, and I am so iffy about RPS sometimes.

Gen.ius.

Love. Undying love. Professed.

(no subject)

Date: 2003-08-04 03:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lobelia321.livejournal.com
*blushes*

Well, I wouldn't say that but thank you, anyway!

Love. Undying Love. Received.

(no subject)

Date: 2003-08-03 08:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] calicokat.livejournal.com
I found you off [livejournal.com profile] ladyjaida's friends list around part seven, but at the time I had to run and totally forgot to leave love, so I took today to catch up on what had been happening since, and I absolutely must tell you how fabulous you are this time around! I'm not even a fan or RPS, in general, but the absurdity mixed with the fact that one can so see these particular people acting these scenes out is just... entirely too engaging! I am very much looking foward to reading more in the future. Keep up the magnificent work. ^_~

(no subject)

Date: 2003-08-04 03:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lobelia321.livejournal.com
Thank you! *blushes again furiously* Heh, I seem to be writing rps for the rps-resistant. ;-)

(no subject)

Date: 2003-08-03 03:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ios-pillow-book.livejournal.com
This story always makes me smile SO much. Untamed cheetahs let loose ..., manly men making their own tea and a veritable haze of ecstasy, this story's has turned into a highly-explosive cocktail that might bubble over any minute. But - tsk, tsk - it seems to me you enjoy giving Viggo a hard time WAY too much ;-)

(no subject)

Date: 2003-08-04 03:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lobelia321.livejournal.com
Thank you, you dear old thing! Viggo? Hard time? Just because he has to dangle his own teabag?! Hah!

Yes, and considering it's putatively "boring", it's stuffed full of plot events these days... ;-p

(no subject)

Date: 2003-08-07 06:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ios-pillow-book.livejournal.com
Viggo? Hard time? Just because he has to dangle his own teabag?! Hah!

Bwahahaha! But I'm all *for* manly men dangling their own teabags. I was rather thinking of the heavy piece of luggage. Well, at least you didn't let him fall down the flight of stairs or on the floor when the door opened so quickly ;-)

(no subject)

Date: 2003-08-04 05:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] childeproof.livejournal.com
The first paragraph is making me burble enjoyably. Ditto the 1950s tallboy. I discern (says she, sniffing like a bloodhound - oh, it must be the scent of sweat-soaked desire, yay) the influence of Adrian Mole on fairly serious drugs. That is, AM back when he was 13 and 3/4, ie when he was sweet and funny and boring and mad, not The Cappuccino Years. The inside of your mind must contain some extraordinary furniture. (Like 1950s tallboys, and original lava lamps and stolen street signs.)

(no subject)

Date: 2003-08-04 06:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lobelia321.livejournal.com
Hm. Adrian Mole was not present at the writing of this fic -- at least not consciously, heh. And yes, *wades through attic of mind and stumbles over all sorts of rubbish*

Thanks for commenting and burbling!

OMG!

Date: 2003-08-04 11:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pecos.livejournal.com
But *DID THEY TIP THE TAXI DRIVER*?!?! And just what kind of tea is in those bags? I'm betting on PG tips. Hanging on this information....

Re: OMG!

Date: 2003-08-04 01:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lobelia321.livejournal.com
No, not PG tips. Tetley's.

(See chapter one . Heh. Let it never be said that this author didn't know her way round her own fic. Although, I have to say, it's getting bloody hard and rather convoluted...!)

Thanks for commenting and reading! *g*

(no subject)

Date: 2003-08-20 07:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yellow-oranges.livejournal.com
mugs yawning on the sidelines
*loves your genius way with words*

(no subject)

Date: 2003-08-20 07:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lobelia321.livejournal.com
Thank you, hon! ;-)

*stares intriguedly at your icon*

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Lobelia the adverbially eclectic

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