My old stories

[lobelia321]

Finding old stories. On the weekend (yes, *on*, using the Australian diction rather than the English *at*), we cleared out our loft in preparation for t'loft conversion, and I found boxes of my old stories. I was amazed to re-discover how *much* I have always written. There are reams and sheaves and whole notebooks filled with handwritten stories, dating right back to when I was five years old and going all the way to about 1987. Then they dry up.

beccaming asked me whether I liked finding them, and yes, I *love* it. I love re-reading them.

None of the stories is finished. (Except for the ones I wrote as a child.) One of the best things about starting to write for Lotrips is that I am finally *finishing* stories.

On finishing stories: I have also discovered that I am also rather good at finishing stories. I can do cliffhangers! I get a sort of tingly feeling of satisfaction and closure when a good ending comes to me, and once I have the ending, I am fine and I know the story will be okay. Sometimes I have written on and on, simply because the last line would not come to me. Then I have a line, I look at it and I *know*: hey, it's the last line!

Languages: All of the stories I wrote as a child and most of the ones I wrote as a teenager are in German. But while I was living in Australia, I also started increasingly to write in English. I had forgotten this! I thought I had never written fiction in English until Lotrips last year, but I have, and some of it is not bad, either. But then I returned to Germany and the good stuff, from the 80s, is all in German. So I ended up thinking I couldn't write in English. I was very interested to find that some of the stylistic quirks I still have are found in my *German* stories from the 80s: repetition, e.g., which I thought I had cottoned onto with "Up Shit Creek" appears in German stories way back in 1981.

Why I write. Finding all of these words, exuded in a stream over the years, made me remember that inner place of writing. I've never written for profit or fame. I've never written with an eye to publish (except for my later non-fiction but that's a different story). I have often written for a community or a friend (I used to co-write with my best friend in primary school and share all my stories, and later I showed one or two stories to selected people -- but not to very many, alas). I have, though, mainly written for myself (*winks at azewewish, to transport myself to some place I liked. The writing seems to have fulfilled some need all these years. I am so glad that the 90s turned out just to be a hiatus in an activity I have always indulged in.

What I didn't find. Two stories did not come to light: my very first gay-sex story, written when I was about 14/15. My first draft of what has now become the Desert Prince, written immediately after I had the dream that it is based on, aged 16 in a hotel room in Munich. I wonder where I have hidden these.

A sample. Written in May 1984.

It's in German. Eine Geschichte von früher.

Comments

[bunnysquee.livejournal.com]

i have only ever written one thing pre-LOTR slash fic, and i refuse to read it. it's a novel; yeah, really, novel-length. i don't know if you have read less than zero by bret easton ellis, but it was inspired by the book, and is completely mary-sue-ish. i refuse to read it, and cringe whenever i see the sub-folder my 'my documents' folder. i want to delete it but yet cannot bear to.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

How long ago did you write it? I am so impressed by anyone who has managed a novel, it takes such perseverance.

[bunnysquee.livejournal.com]

10 years ago, maybe. something like that. it didn't take much effort on my part. i was mostly bored and lonely, and had just gotten out of university and wanted to capture my experiences on paper.