and yet more kaka

I am absurd. I am now surfing gay sites for droolpics of Kaká.

Well, this comes from not finding my obsession mirrored on LJ! I am used to finding my obsessions mirrored on LJ! Orli! Dom! Draco! Rodney! Radek! All mirrored and magnified by the happy land that is fandom!

But football? My Flist is strangely bereft, except for the odd fly-by fellow-footballerix and the okay football_slash comm. Have I picked the wrong Friends??? *wails* I am having to go outside the Flist (*shock, horror*) to find likeminded obsessives. Luckily, the world is full of about 58 million of them so that's some compensation.

( pics of Kaka nude )

cristiano ronaldo/kaka and global beauty

I woke up with the befuddled image of Cristiano Ronaldo and Kaká kissing against a fence somewhere in Rio, or was it Lisboa? And being charmed by each others' accents. 'Ooh, that sexy Brazilian accent." "Ooh, those Portuguese and their nasal intonations." As I have next to no concrete idea of what differentiates New World Portuguese from Old World Portuguese, these thoughts are all incredibly sketched in, as you may imagine.

But Cristiano Ronaldo! Kaká! They are so pretty! They are Dom and Orli reincarnated! My new fandom lacks the very young and the very pretty and the very silly young pouty and boyish good looks and mussed-up hair.

I need somebody to do a manip of semi-nude Kaká (see my previous pic post) and semi-nude Cristiano (see also another previous pic post with Cristiano swooning in the lap of some Mary Sue -- that Mary Sue clearly is Kaká).

But I love this one (icon) of Kaká because he looks so happy. It is now my desktop picture. My god, football has ousted Brad Pitt!!!

Life is worrying when your eight-year-old son shares your obsession and knowledgeably comments on your desktop image: "Oh, you've changed it, it used to be that other man. Now it's Kaká: cool!"

( pics )

Now, both of these boys are incredibly pretty but Kaká is just ever so slightly more swoonworthy in my little heart because:

- he looks so impossibly boyish and he could be my son!
- he looks disarmingly innocent
- he is a good married boy with a wedding ring (unlike that hussy Cristiano Ronaldo who hurls himself around with Mary Sues, tut tut)

I have to say, if the Brazil football team is anything to go by, then the Brazilian people are a walking, talking advertisement for miscegenation. Those mestize looks and that hue of skin are just so beautiful.

I am a bit disturbed at my choice of OT-lust objects as being more or less white. In fact, it occurs to me that I've never slashed an African man or an East Asian man. (I did do two Asian men, Kiran Shah and B.K. but somehow I can't class those two as lust objects precisely.) Am I locked into some post-colonial mainstream lust convention? Is it that the mainstream has imposed its own global white bias onto my lusty unconscious and presented me with so many Brad Pitts, Dominic Monaghans and so forths over the years that the handful of famous non-Caucasians trickle into the sand of non-lustiness? Why are there pics of Beckham, C. Ronaldo and Kaká with their shirts off and gazing dreamily into space but none of Juan, Zé Roberto or Asamoah Gyan? Or is it just lack of opportunity and familiarity: where I live, I see mostly white guys, so I'm kind of imprinted -- or am I? Or is my concern just silly and a sign of reverse patronisingism (word?) and hey, let's just ogle whom we ogle.

It does, though, throw up interesting ideas about why we lust for whom we lust for and how our lusts (what we regard as very personal urgings) are shaped by outside forces.

when you love men whom men love

Another thing about lusting after football men: you're loving the men whom men love. This is an interesting situation. The men of my current fandom (Stargate Atlantis) are not the kind of men generally beloved of men: t'h just laughs at McKay and Sheppard (although he identified them immediately as slash objects). And I don't even mention my Draco/Dudley lust to anyone male; I'd risk getting laughed off a cliff!

Now Lotrips was an interesting one because Lord of the Rings was for years (decades?) a kind of preserve of men (nerdy men). Men feel this is 'theirs', and they lust quite unashamedly after Aragorn and Legolas especially. They also Mary-Sue them (t'h wanted to be Aragorn when little, and he's not the only one). In fact, it was t'h who first drew my attention to the prettiness of movie!Legolas (this was before I stumbled onto rps! and was innocent of all matters Bloom).

But with football the whole man-lusting thing ratchets up onto a whole 'nuther level. When the first Brazil game aired last week, BBC commentators (grown men!) were reduced to helpless giggles whenever Ronaldinho appeared on screen or touched the ball. Gary and Alan swooned in speechless adoration at Ronaldinho slo-mo replays: "Ah, it's always nice to watch a bit of Ronaldinho..." And UK men's love for Rooney seems (mysterious as it is to me) a bottomless bucket of lust.

The thing is: football men are men whom men lust after. And it is interesting to share this space with them. In slash, I'm used to being in a sort of men-free zone of lusting but with football: not so. And when you get Cristiano Ronaldo and David Beckham pouting shirtless at cameras, I really have to ask myself: is this directed at women, or at their fellow men?

Brazil/Australia.
Me: "I like that Kaká."
T'h: "Yes, he is very good-looking, isn't he? Also that Kewell, he looks really good."

Hah! Gerrard just scored England's second goal against Sweden! How about that, eh? Live LJ-posting!!!

ETA: Whoa, Sweden equalises! And how messy is that! So'n Gerangel ums Tor 'rum!

( pic of Kewell )

happy birthday, housemouse!

Ack, what with all the football I forgot to congratulate the lovely tvilingar!!

I hope you had a febulous birthday and have a wonderful future year! *hugs*

when men love men and make vids about men for other men

Continuing my investigation into the weird and wonderful world of men loving men. So I roamed you.tube and came up with some intriguing samples of teh man/man lust.

Now men are weird. Here are the types of pics posted on footballslash by women for women:
• men in each others' arms
• men kissing other men
• men jumping each others' buns in one huge manfleshpile
• men fondling each other
• topless men
• close-up of pretty manfaces

Totally not weird, right? Now here are the types of vids made by lads for other lads:
• men running round in long shots, i.e. visible only as tiny stickmen on a field of green
• endless replays of goals
• endless replays of footwork, tagged with labels such as 'Ronaldinho's golden ball', 'Ronaldinho's golden feet', 'Kaka's magic'
• epic hero music
• flashes of close-up

The men adore the men, this much is clear. There is total hero worship out there. They treasure the men in action: running, shooting, manoeuvring, coming. They are bizarrely uninterested, though, in the post-orgasmic post-goal manpiles and the mankisses. I only found one vid that showed footage of a topless guy. I can't tell whether the latter is by a gay guy; most of these vids are, I would hazard, totally by straight men about straight men for straight men. What is slashy (slashy??!) is, heh, not the video itself but the whole erotic economy of man/man/man exchanges.

Here's a sample of vids made by men for men:

Ronaldinho's golden balls vid. A good example of the kind of vid I described above. All about the ball action. The sambaesque music somewhat irritated me but then, I'm not much into Latino music.

Ronaldinho rap vid, with rude words in a rap song that is in itself a study in male-on-male adoration (here's a guy singing about cock and prick, and this song is chosen by another guy to accompany clips of yet another guy kicking round a ball: ah, the homoerotic circulation of it all) Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick, here I come! (She wrote on male homosocial desire.) And Claude Lévi-Strauss, here I come, too! (He wrote about women used as a token of exchange among men; who mattered was not the woman but the man/man relationship: totally Troy.)

Cristiano Ronaldo angsty vid! Total hero adoration. Lyrics: 'I gave you my heart, I gave you my soul. Loving you, kissing you'. Also footage of topless C. Ronaldo. End credits: 'Never lose faith, cause we all go through pain.'

Kaká vid. Also features bonus footage of Drogba (Ivory Coast)! Plus edited shot-reverse-shot sequence of Frank Lampard and Kaká blowing kisses at each other (111). The caption reads: this is a kaka vs lampard compilation and i didn't made myself, so enjoy it lads. Proof positive: this is guys talking and vidding to guys.

FOOTBALL FICLET: Under a Portuguese sun (Cristiano Ronaldo/Kaka)

Okay, I've finally lost the plot and gone ahead and written Kaká/Cristiano Ronaldo. This is mildly experimental because, gads, it was the only way I could contain my madness via prose. Um, written to the musical accompaniment of man-on-man vids.

( Read your football slash here. Length: Short. )