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lobelia321FICLET: "Falling in with Professionals"
SERIES: Nr. 16 of the Boring!Orli series. Back to nr. 15.
Author: Lobelia; lobelia40@yahoo.com
Pairing: Orlando Bloom / all sorts.
-----
Orli ran as fast as his naked feet would carry him across the hospital lawn. He sprinted down a nearby alley. He cavorted around a roundabout. He sallied over a footbridge. He held his breath and his side at the corner of the hospital morgue and the staff canteen. He lifted his face to the heavens and carolled sweetly to the new-born sun. He scurried through a tunnel. He found himself face to face with two women at the far end of a tiled and dingy underpass.
The air was fetid with the smell of fresh piss. A 20-watt bulb winked weakly at the trio below: one young man in white gown plus two middle-aged personages with bouffon hairdos, skirts the width of 1980s-neckties and lipstick that would make Rudolf's nose look pastel.
"So where do you think you're headin'?" one of the apparitions said in a harsh smoker's voice.
"Yeah," added the other, looking Orli up and down. "In nothin' but a little shirt on."
Orli took one deep breath, then burst out coughing because taking a deep breath had not been the best of ideas in such a dungeon as this, took another shallow breath, and confessed, delicate excitement flushing his cheeks:
"I'm running away."
"Oooh," said the left-hand woman, orange hair piled high.
"Oooh-er," said the right-hand woman, yellow ringlets tumbling past her cleavage.
"So you're not lookin' for a good time?" continued Orangina.
"By any chance?" added Yellowette.
"Look," said Orli, "I know what you're thinking. You're thinking I'm a guy. Well, I am. Sort of. But not. And they want to do terrible things to me. They want to cut me up and cut me open..."
"Oh, poor lamb!" cried Orangina and touched her berouged cheeks with one 3-inch burgundy-dyed nail.
"Don't tell me they want to cut off your wiener, baby?" exclaimed the other one.
Then they both fell silent as Orli's gown fell open and revealed his smooth, flat chest, his nipples the size of one-pound coins, his bush of dark curls, and the swollen, just-licked, post-orgasmic delta of his labia.
"Oh my god," murmured Orangina and accidentally gouged a part of her cheek out with her sharply-filed talon.
"Now I've seen everythin'," breathed Yellowette and clawed at her ample bosom.
"They want to," said Orli and his cheeks flushed redder still while a feverish glint invaded his eyes, "cut it all out. They want to put back my dick, or something like that. But I'm telling you, I've never felt this good. This is making me feel like a whole new man. This is making me feel like nothing else before. This is... I'm not giving this up!"
"So..." said Orangina, trying to regain her voice.
"I say," croaked Yellowette.
"I mean," finished Orangina, "seein' you're runnin' away and all, why don't you..."
"Yes!" chimed in Yellowette, "Come along with us! There's always work for a... hm, *person*, like you around where we live!"
"We'll make it worth your while," said Orangina and winked.
"Oooh-er," said Yellowette, "I'll happily dish out freebies for a taste of this rare... *thing*."
"And we might even team you up with some others..."
"Who're down the line of chuffin' and changin'..."
"Know what we mean?"
"Say no more?"
So Orli, shoeless and hapless, light of heart and happy of luck, went along with the two ladies of the night to seek his fortune in the brave new world of the hotels and motels of their calling.
Back in the hospital, Royal Surgeon Brad Dourif M.D., Ph.D., Dipl.med., RPS/OOC-AU, held an X-Ray up to the lightbox on the wall of Room 403 and announced to the assembled and dumb-struck company, "Not to worry, gentlemen. Even without further intervention, the transgendermogrification process is due to begin reconstituting itself within 24 hours at the latest, and the mental imbalance effects should follow suit shortly thereafter. All we need to do is wait."
TBC
19 Oct. 03
-----
SERIES: Nr. 16 of the Boring!Orli series. Back to nr. 15.
Author: Lobelia; lobelia40@yahoo.com
Pairing: Orlando Bloom / all sorts.
-----
Orli ran as fast as his naked feet would carry him across the hospital lawn. He sprinted down a nearby alley. He cavorted around a roundabout. He sallied over a footbridge. He held his breath and his side at the corner of the hospital morgue and the staff canteen. He lifted his face to the heavens and carolled sweetly to the new-born sun. He scurried through a tunnel. He found himself face to face with two women at the far end of a tiled and dingy underpass.
The air was fetid with the smell of fresh piss. A 20-watt bulb winked weakly at the trio below: one young man in white gown plus two middle-aged personages with bouffon hairdos, skirts the width of 1980s-neckties and lipstick that would make Rudolf's nose look pastel.
"So where do you think you're headin'?" one of the apparitions said in a harsh smoker's voice.
"Yeah," added the other, looking Orli up and down. "In nothin' but a little shirt on."
Orli took one deep breath, then burst out coughing because taking a deep breath had not been the best of ideas in such a dungeon as this, took another shallow breath, and confessed, delicate excitement flushing his cheeks:
"I'm running away."
"Oooh," said the left-hand woman, orange hair piled high.
"Oooh-er," said the right-hand woman, yellow ringlets tumbling past her cleavage.
"So you're not lookin' for a good time?" continued Orangina.
"By any chance?" added Yellowette.
"Look," said Orli, "I know what you're thinking. You're thinking I'm a guy. Well, I am. Sort of. But not. And they want to do terrible things to me. They want to cut me up and cut me open..."
"Oh, poor lamb!" cried Orangina and touched her berouged cheeks with one 3-inch burgundy-dyed nail.
"Don't tell me they want to cut off your wiener, baby?" exclaimed the other one.
Then they both fell silent as Orli's gown fell open and revealed his smooth, flat chest, his nipples the size of one-pound coins, his bush of dark curls, and the swollen, just-licked, post-orgasmic delta of his labia.
"Oh my god," murmured Orangina and accidentally gouged a part of her cheek out with her sharply-filed talon.
"Now I've seen everythin'," breathed Yellowette and clawed at her ample bosom.
"They want to," said Orli and his cheeks flushed redder still while a feverish glint invaded his eyes, "cut it all out. They want to put back my dick, or something like that. But I'm telling you, I've never felt this good. This is making me feel like a whole new man. This is making me feel like nothing else before. This is... I'm not giving this up!"
"So..." said Orangina, trying to regain her voice.
"I say," croaked Yellowette.
"I mean," finished Orangina, "seein' you're runnin' away and all, why don't you..."
"Yes!" chimed in Yellowette, "Come along with us! There's always work for a... hm, *person*, like you around where we live!"
"We'll make it worth your while," said Orangina and winked.
"Oooh-er," said Yellowette, "I'll happily dish out freebies for a taste of this rare... *thing*."
"And we might even team you up with some others..."
"Who're down the line of chuffin' and changin'..."
"Know what we mean?"
"Say no more?"
So Orli, shoeless and hapless, light of heart and happy of luck, went along with the two ladies of the night to seek his fortune in the brave new world of the hotels and motels of their calling.
Back in the hospital, Royal Surgeon Brad Dourif M.D., Ph.D., Dipl.med., RPS/OOC-AU, held an X-Ray up to the lightbox on the wall of Room 403 and announced to the assembled and dumb-struck company, "Not to worry, gentlemen. Even without further intervention, the transgendermogrification process is due to begin reconstituting itself within 24 hours at the latest, and the mental imbalance effects should follow suit shortly thereafter. All we need to do is wait."
TBC
19 Oct. 03
-----
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2003-10-19 12:04 pm (UTC)"Oh, poor lamb!" cried Orangina and touched her berouged cheeks with one 3-inch burgundy-dyed nail.
"Don't tell me they want to cut off your wiener, baby?" exclaimed the other one.
Then they both fell silent as Orli's gown fell open and revealed his smooth, flat chest, his nipples the size of one-pound coins, his bush of dark curls, and the swollen, just-licked, post-orgasmic delta of his labia.
fnughuhmunhuhpugglapuh!!!
(no subject)
Date: 2003-10-19 12:09 pm (UTC)1) Bow-ties! '80s bow-ties! Johnneh approves. I'm sure Johnneh's also wondering where that frisky little Orli ran off to. Poor Johnneh! *adjusts his tie*
2) This whole fic is like every AU Slut-fantasy fic gone so horribly wrong that it's all the way back to right again. I hope Orangina and Yellowette won't be too terribly upset when their newest chickadee regains his cock?
3) ...I can't believe I just typed that. Or that you typed this, for that matter. But c'est terrific, L-dear. Just... the chemicals in my brain are still trying to process it a little.
4) Bow-tie!
(no subject)
Date: 2003-10-23 04:32 am (UTC)Oooh, and I know, I'll have to think about poor Johnny's reaction.
*giggles maniacally*
Thank you!!!
(no subject)
Date: 2003-10-23 04:30 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-10-19 12:04 pm (UTC)"Who're down the line of chuffin' and changin'..."
"Know what we mean?"
Bwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Sorry but coherence has left the building.
(no subject)
Date: 2003-10-23 04:32 am (UTC)Thank you, Ms Incoherent!
(no subject)
Date: 2003-10-19 01:43 pm (UTC)Pairing: Orlando Bloom / all sorts
for a minute there, i thought you'd paired dear Orli with a bag of liquorice!
orangina and yellowette
*falls off chair, arms flailing*
transgendermogrification
that's probably the longest word used in rps EVAH!
wonderful piece of confection as usual, lobelia. i laughed and perved and generally felt quite relieved that Orli's getting his dick back, whether he wants it or not ... er ... is that bad?
(no subject)
Date: 2003-10-23 04:34 am (UTC)Bag of liquorice!! Now there's a thought. That would neatly tie in my interest in Lakritzkaetzchen as well. Hah!
And no, it's not bad to desire Orli's dick. *snorts*
(no subject)
Date: 2003-10-19 02:38 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-10-23 04:34 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-10-19 03:01 pm (UTC)*adores you in a non-verbal way*
PS: adgflikyjfs!ROTFLOL ;)
(no subject)
Date: 2003-10-23 04:36 am (UTC)That's a non-verbal thank you, ;-)
(no subject)
Date: 2003-10-19 03:03 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-10-23 04:36 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-10-25 09:36 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-10-25 09:53 am (UTC)I'll see what i can do... ;-)
Downloading this, I realised I already had a pic of you on my hard drive after all!
(no subject)
Date: 2003-10-25 03:42 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-10-27 12:29 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-10-19 03:39 pm (UTC)... *dries tears of mirth*
It took me about an hour to recover from a massive laughing-fit.
But I'm still incoherent.
You could keep this series going forever and your readers would never lose interest. Thank you! *hugs* And - as you know - I'm looking forward to the next part with great anticipation. *giggles*
"They want to," said Orli and his cheeks flushed redder still while a feverish glint invaded his eyes, "cut it all out. They want to put back my dick, or something like that. But I'm telling you, I've never felt this good. This is making me feel like a whole new man. This is making me feel like nothing else before. This is... I'm not giving this up!"
Yeah! Orli! *cheers*
(no subject)
Date: 2003-10-23 04:37 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-10-20 05:04 am (UTC)This is making me feel like a whole new man.
Ha!
(no subject)
Date: 2003-10-23 04:38 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-10-20 08:55 am (UTC)Thank you lobelia for bringing joy to a dull corner of the room. I... am speechless.
(no subject)
Date: 2003-10-23 04:39 am (UTC)*giggles*
(no subject)
Date: 2003-10-21 01:59 pm (UTC)All we need to do is wait.
*waits*
(no subject)
Date: 2003-10-23 04:39 am (UTC)