spam will get you anything

[lobelia321]

For thejennabides:



Orlando Bloom/Stuart Townsend
G
Not true. Made up.

Curl-touching



There are people, and pot plants, and Orlando is wearing his shiny new suit. He has his speech in his breast pocket. Every now and again, he fingers it. He pretends to be adjusting his tie but really, he's making sure the speech is still there.

It's not even really a speech. He knows it's not. He knows it's just a few lines, and they're not supposed to be read out. They're supposed to be delivered spontaneously and with relaxed ease. So he ducks into the loos, past the people and the pot plants, to practise spontaneity and easy relaxation.

He flushes the toilet so that nobody hears his spontaneous whispering.

He washes his hands. He holds them under the auto-drier. He looks at the mirror and pulls a relaxed face, then a knowing smirk, then a I'm-so-cute grimace, then a serious awards type look.

Outside the loo, he nearly steps on someone's shoes.

"Hey," says the shoes' owner.

Orlando looks up.

"Stuart!"

And it is. He's here, he's smiling, he's scruffy, he's pinstriped. He looks completely at ease. He throws his arm round Orlando in relaxed spontaneity.

"Curls," he grins. "I keep forgetting."

And how strong his hand is. How strong against the nape of Orlando's head, against the dented base of his skull, amid the tumbling profusion over his collar.

And how firm his lips are. Pressed without fuss or further ado to Orlando's lips.

Before Orlando can do anything -- and he'd like to do something, oh yes --, Stuart has pulled back and the moment is over.

"I still think of you as the boy with no hair," Stuart says. "Well, as the boy who had hair and then lost it."

"Yeah," says Orlando, and that's about as spontaneous as he's going to get tonight. He can feel it. He can feel Stuart's grin burning the spontaneity out of him, and the ease, and the relaxation, leaving him all knotty and filled with inner whorls.

"You're lookin' good, though," says Stuart and breathes wine into Orlando's mouth. "Guess who's here, by the way?"

Orlando finds he cannot answer. Purled nubs have settled on his tongue.

"Charlize! Remember her, from earlier this year? Course you do, you old bastard, you were staring down her cleavage the entire evening. Well, guess what...?"

Orlando has guessed it already. The guessing and the pulling-together come together in one jolt. He stands tall. He forms a knowing smirk, and then breaks into the I'm-cute-smile when he spots Charlize coming towards them.

"Great!" he says to Stuart. "Fabulous!"

There are people everywhere. And pot plants. Orlando feels shiny in his new suit. The speech crackles against his breast pocket.

There's an overhead fan somewhere above, and a faint breeze lifts the hair at his nape.

----

THE END
23 October 2003

Comments

[thejennabides.livejournal.com]

*LOVES YOU!*

(more and better fb later, we promisesss)

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

You made me do it, you know! I thought, how can I withstand this spam onslaught? Spamslaughter! I just had to do *something* to put you out of your misery. And then those speech caps intervened - I find them quite mesmerising. The idea of Orlando having no trouble acting in front of a camera but that he gets shaky hands when having to speak in public. It is somehow endearing and endlessly interesting.

[thejennabides.livejournal.com]

I also wonder if part of it was reading (with the dyslexia and all) - though he could have just memorized it, of course. But yes! Nervousness live-on-camera! Oh little muskrat, how I love you! *cuddles Orli*

[crazybutsound]

Oh, how I loved that. I loved yoour neverous Orlando, and loved how there was this search of his for ease and spontaneity, and how it all gets lost with Stuart's presence. Just plain lovely.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Thanks for this nice effbee! I was *teaching* about the effort needed to sustain the impression of spontaneity in public... talk about life and art intertwining. Or something. And I did like those speech screen caps a lot. And it somehow made its way into this pic fic... :-)

[piran.livejournal.com]

This wonderful story has opened my eyes!

And - heh... I'm not the only one who saw Orlando's hand shake while he was reading the 'speech'?

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Heh, I'm sure they were open before...! I did not see Orlando's hand shake during the speech because the only thing I've seen are the screencaps but I found them mesmerising. And his face in some of them *looked* as if his hands might be shaking. It was such an unusual-for-Orlando face. I am delighted that his hands *were* shaking! It's so endearing, somehow, that he can act in front of a camera but finds talking in public difficult!

Thank you for your effbee! :-)

[angelmaye.livejournal.com]

Oh! This was fun, with just a wee bit of ouch.

I kept wondering about his dyslexia while he was giving P.J.'s acceptance, wondering if it was hard for him.

Loved this!

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

I have not seen the speech, only the caps. But those caps mesmerised me! As did the hand in the curls, needless to add.

Thank you for reading and effbeeing! :-)

[lovewithapathy.livejournal.com]

that was lovely. so lovely. :)

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Heh, there you are! Now I recognise you! In disguise and so different from email name... :-)

Thank you for reading and liking!!

[admirabile.livejournal.com]

Wow! Am I ever glad I posted those screencaps! This was so cute! I can just picture Orlando practicing those faces in the mirror, perfecting them. Delightful ficlet! Thanks for sharing this with me!