i is snitching

[lobelia321]

I am reading Roald Dahl's BFG to my ill child and here is how he speaks:

"Human beans from Panama is tasting very strong of hats."

"You is not very clever."

"This is a serious and snitching subject!"

J.K. Rowling snitching from others' works, anyone? And not the smallest whiff of Gollum there, either...

While I'm here, a handful of pet peeves:

Peeve the First:
minuscule
That is a word in the English language whose etymology goes back to the Latin word for 'very small': minusculus.

miniscule
There is no such word!!! You cannot stick the suffic 'scule' onto the word 'mini' and be thinking that you have constructed a word meaning 'tiny'!! That's not how words get made. Otoh, I guess I could coin the following phrase: "Oooh, you're as hard and maxiscule as a snozzcumber!"

Peeve the Second:
amused
This is a word in the English language, meaning 'having been made to laugh or smile'.

bemused
This is a word in the English language, meaning 'confused, stupefied'.

These two words are not interchangeable! Yet one would think they were, judging from the number of times I have read men in fic being confused and stupefied in situations that would call for mild amusement. Or perhaps slashmen just are like that...?

Peeve the Third:
en route
This is a French expression, meaning 'to be on one's way to somewhere'.

on route
This formulation does not exist in the English language. One can be on form, one can be on song, one can even be on offer -- but one cannot be 'on route'. Homonymic acoustic effects do not the spelling of the English language guide.

The Only Time I Can Condone Erroneous Spelling:
liek omg h'es so kewl 111 wtf

Can you tell I'm in a bit of a state because of
a) job interview next Tuesday
b) Open Evenings at secondary schools for t'son
c) illness of t'other son
d) frazzled brain

Comments

[phineasjones.livejournal.com]

but you can get your kicks on route 66.



omg, i'm kind of horrified by my own sad excuse for a joke. alas. there it is. and, really, i didn't know you could say 'on form' in english, i always say it frenchie-like. and 'on song'? i don't think i've ever heard that.

[bunnysquee.livejournal.com]

that's a BRILLIANT joke - it just made me snort out loud at work no less! either that or i'm easily amused.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

I, also, really like it! And I stand corrected!!

And yes, 'on song' and 'on form' are formulations I have learned since moving to the UK. I never heard them in Australia. In David Lodge's Nice Work, there is talk of the machines in the factory being 'on song'. And on English television, these are often used for footballers (soccer players) when they're playing well. I particularly like on song.

[cangetmad.livejournal.com]

J.K. Rowling snitching from others' works, anyone?

But "snitch" has been a word as long as I can remember! Meaning "tell on", roughly. It's also euphonious and a rather obvious thing to think up, anyway.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

AHA!

I stand corrected, then. Sort of.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

On the other hand, the "I is thinking" is totally BFG. And about 1/5 Gollum.

[bunnysquee.livejournal.com]

hope your children recover quickly and good luck for next tuesday!

*cuddles your brain*

*also covets your brain, frazzled or otherwise*

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

*giggles*

Thank you.

[childeproof.livejournal.com]

Yes, there are times I realise I'm entirely humourless about grammar, as when I read The BFG to my godchildren and find myself wincing at potential sources of syntactical misinformation.

Best of luck with interview, a nasty but necessary route I hope to be taking in the spring. (Everything in my field being advertised now needs you to start after Christmas, which would, were I to take one of these jobs, lead to the world's worst reference from here for abandoning my huge semester II lecture courses to some unfortunate lackey...)

At least your sons sound old enough to be left at home while you interview - a friend of mine once blew an interview because her hungry, cross baby was yowling in its father's arms within earshot of the room, and her breasts leaked like something from Genesis while she tried to respond intelligently to questions on her research...

Do I take it your dept has in fact imploded, then?

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Dept has in fact not imploded (yet) and is, perversely, looking better than it has in many years. Not student-number-wise so that's still a worry but our new head is very good. But even he cannot wave a wand and make students appear out of thin air, alas.

Well, t'sons aren't old enough to be left home but they can be left at their after-school club. Leaking-breast-interview sounds like a nightmare!

[cathexys.livejournal.com]

*hugs* on the grammar and interview and just general stress level...and i'm not sure i knew your second pet peeve...so, your work as a teacher today has been done :-)

my little one's sick at home today as well, but my mom got here last night, so it's actually not that bad...

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Thanks for interview wishes. How can I prepare for it if I've got an ill child at home? *goes into state again*

And I haven't got any shoes to wear for it!!!!

[cathexys.livejournal.com]

LOL and there's nothing as important as good shoes :-)

*hugs* and good thoughts to you and kidlet...

[novanumbernine.livejournal.com]

J.K. Rowling snitching from others' works, anyone?

do you know jill murphy's "the worst witch" series? boarding schools for witches and witches, anyone? formation broomstick flying? potion teachers? ...harry potter is a shameless rip off. and it's shite.

good luck with the interview!

n.x :)

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

I've heard of the Worst Witch but t'sons don't read it. What is her name?? Should I force her down the litte one's throat? He's now asking for Harry Potter as he rejects being influenced by his older brother's and my denigration of HP... Well, I'm all for making your own mind up! So I may have to read them out aloud for the third time.

*sighs*

Well, these days it can count for research... (I feel perverse. It was naughty enough reading Lotr to t'elder son two years ago and making Treebeard into a camp old loon, voice-wise. Hoom-hom.

[novanumbernine.livejournal.com]

the worst witch = mildred hubble (and her chum maud!)

probably for a slightly younger age group than harry potter though - i remember reading it aged six or thereabouts. worth reading though 'cos it's a) brilliant, and has fabulous scratchy illustrations by the author and b) you will see how shamelessly harry potter steals from it!

n.x :)

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Mildred! Wonderful. This is all research, you know. I'm scouting round for suitable exclamations for HP. In fanon, the wizards are forever shouting "By Merlin!" or some such. I plan for them to go "Oh, for Mildred's sake" or "By all the Endoras".

*cackles*

I might look into these for t'younger son.

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

miniscule
There is no such word!!!

Thank you so much - I did not know this!! And here's a thing - try typing both spellings into Word and doing a spell-check. It accepts minuscule (as it should). It also accepts miniscule. Why? IT OBVIOUSLY KNOWS IT'S WRONG! WTF? Honestly. God knows how many times I've spelled minuscule wrong unknowingly, and Word just nodded and smiled and let me go on my merry, incorrect way. I shall have to devote an entire evening to Find and Replace now.

Sorry you are feeling frazzled; so am I a bit. And good luck with t'interview!

[bunnysquee.livejournal.com]

sadly, there are a lot of mistakes which have been accepted into the english language because the great unwashed is just too stupid and the powers that be have to cater to the general masses, the best example being flammable and inflammable. if you type both words up in word and look up its thesaurus, they both mean combustible!!! next time you look at some oil tanker truck thing, you'll probably see "BEWARE! FLAMMABLE' or some such ****, at least you will if you were in north america.

*tears hair out in frustration and disgust*

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Now that is really weird as usually the prefix in- denotes some sort of opposite. Thank you!!

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

I am shocked. Shocked.

We should write to Bill Gates.

[mandalaya.livejournal.com]

Best of luck with the interview!

I was shocked to see that about minuscule - I've spelled it miniscule forever, and I'm usually a very good speller with a visual memory of words. In fact, minuscule looks wrong to me, which may be because Merriam-Webster (www.m-w.com) lists the definition of minuscule as 1 a : one of several ancient and medieval writing styles developed from cursive and having simplified and small forms b : a letter in this style
2 : a lowercase letter.

This is not the definition I have in mind when I use the word. Quite possibly, it has been used (and spelled) incorrectly every single time I've seen it! It seems that I should just go ahead and use "tiny" or "microscopic" instead. M-W does list miniscule as a variant for minuscule, btw, but in such a way as to show that it is not the correct spelling - not listed in the definition of minuscule, but only shown when you type in the "mini" spelling itself.

Whee! Thank you! I learned even more than I expected, and honed my vocabularial (almost certainly not a real word) precision!

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Oh, I love the nominal meaning of that word! Majuscules and minuscules: yum! *goes off to drool at mediaeval manuscripts*

[calicokat.livejournal.com]

I think I've actually done "bemused" before. @_@;; ::hides:: (But it was probably at 2 AM while RPing.)

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Actually, I'm really glad you're admitting to this because it's sometimes impossible to tell for sure from the context of a fic. Because perhaps the author really did mean them to be confused?? It was just an inkling that I had that 3/4 of the time the word amused could have been substituted and made much more sense.

You are now my proof positive!

[calicokat.livejournal.com]

Heh heh heh, yeah, nah, they meant "amused". Totally meant "amused". ::projects her own failing onto all these other people:: :x

[lazulus]

1. Good luck with interview.
2. Try and keep calm about secondary schools [easier said than done I know, but it bears saying anyway]
3. Pet t'youngest son for me
4. Mind that brain! Don't let it frazzle too much.

x

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

1. Thank you. I'm not even sure what good luck means. I'd love for a shift in tectonics to move Oxford into closer range to home. Grr.
2. I am not calm about the secondary schools! I am totally not calm!!
3. *pets* (He's a little better.)
4. Oh god, the brain, the brain.

[lazulus]

1. Oh! Interview in Oxford. Hhmm. Well, good luck anyway!
2. *passes the valium* Secondary school trauma is a joy... NOT! I've had enough friends and workmates go through the trauma over the past few years to be very sympathetic.
3. Glad he's feeling better. There are lots of rotten cold and flu bugs about at the moment and it's hellish when chldren go down with them.
4. The brain will be fine, just try not to let it overheat.
5. Did you know that crazybutsound is going to be in London over the weekend? [Friday to Tuesday] We are going to arrange to meet up if there is any way you can manage it... difficult I know, but I thought I'd throw it out there.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Well, I totally missed that visit! I don't think I could have come down anyway, though. As you can tell by my LJ-absence, rl has taken over! What was it like with her, though???

[lazulus]

she was lovely! pretty much how you would imagine from her lj. Just a really nice, funny, smart, sweet woman. I really liked her a lot. :)

I figured that rl had got a bit much. I keep meaning to give you a call and shall do this week. i've been having a really busy time finishing off my lean-to, which has taken up loads of physical and mental energy. i am such a DIY queen, though!!!

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

'bemused' is sort of 'wtf-hahaha??!?!' I wouldn't call it bewildered, exactly. But not exactly amused, either.

And 'on route' is perfectly good English when applied to rock climbing or mountaineering.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

It is confused or stupefied. It is not 'wtf-haha'. The haha is the spill-over from the almost-homonym amused. But bemused has nothing to do with amused. It does not mean wry or indulgent or somewhat astonished but chuckling. I will think of the proper word for that one; it escapes me right now.

Don't get me onto rebarbative which is also consistently misused although not in fanfic but in academic writing...!!

On route is from rock climbing??! Hah! I will remember this the next time I see it in fic and try to imagine how characters get zapped without warning onto the North Wall of the Eiger. *gg*

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

My OCD doesn't have the 'on route' for mountaineering. Have you got a link to some site or dictionary? Will check the OED but don't know when I'm in t'reference library next.

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

I doubt it would be in the OED - it's pretty much a term of art, meaning to be correctly following the particular named route/path/climb. The opposite is "off route", which is when you accidentally go the wrong way without realizing it and find yourself confronted with a blank wall and no handholds. I might say that climbing Engineer Mountain was harder than it should have been because we got off route, but on the way back down we followed another group and stayed on route. (Or perhaps that en route to the summit of Engineer, it was difficult to stay on route!)

See here for an example of usage (under "Traverse of the Sella Towers"), or here (under "Spiral Route"). It's sometimes written "on-route" although I think without the hyphen is preferred (ditto with "off route"/"off-route").

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Thank you! This is great.

*ponders mountaineering fic*

Not really apt for HP but oh, so completely canon for lotrps!!