an online timer!

[lobelia321]

Look what I found online:

A timer!

Brought to you by yours truly, Dr Lobelia Stepford-Hooverbaggins

*cackles in timed 5-minute bursts*

Useful for all manner of activity, including:

- improv writing
- keyboard vacuuming
- quickie wanking
- sink shining



Wondering whether to type 'all manner of activity' or 'all manner of activities', I checked my online dictionary of choice and was horrified to discover the phrase to the manner born.

Aaaack!!! This is not true!! This is spelled to the manor born, surely? Am I correct? Or am I correct?

To the manner... *coughs and chokes on own bile*

But can anyone help with the 'all manner of' dilemma? If qualifying a noun, should that noun be plural or singular? I've opted for the latter but zen, I am a foreign zpeaker and also an inveterate pedant.

Comments

[novanumbernine.livejournal.com]

i believe it *is* "to the manner born".

"all manner of"...well, people often say "all manner of things".

i have just been looking at that flylady site, and am very very scared.

n.x :)

[eyebrowofdoom.livejournal.com]

i believe it *is* "to the manner born".

Huh. *scratches head* Are we being lead astray by that TV show with that... [Penelope someone?] in it, do you think? I have never seen "to the manner born" in my life.

[novanumbernine.livejournal.com]

yes, it's "manner", it's from hamlet, i knew it shakespeare had something to do with it!

But to my mind, though I am native here
And to the manner born, it is a custom
More honoured in the breach than the observance.

n.x :)

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Aaaaack. You are right! I just looked it up in my published Concise Oxford and to the manner born is a phrase from Hamlet, Act I, Scene 4, line 15!

Aaaagrr. How could I not know this? I feel under-educated. How embarrassing to rant about something wrong.

The Concise gives no example for all manner of but defines it as many different kinds of. Do you say 'many different kinds of activity' or 'many different kinds of activitys'?

I know the phrase 'all manner of things' but then there are all sorts of phrases which are either wrong or one-offs.

I am so definitely not to this manner born. Fuck.

[novanumbernine.livejournal.com]

i don't think that the phrase "to the manor born" is intrinsically wrong, it's just a pun on the original. and it was also the name of a very well-known tv programme, which is probably why everyone thinks that is the "correct" version. fret not!

i still think "all manner of..." works better with a plural. unlike your other question, though, i am not certain!

n.x :)

[eyebrowofdoom.livejournal.com]

Yes you are correct about the manor, which is the residence of an aristocratic family, which in being the site of one's birth gives one tickets on oneself, which occasions the saying.

I think "all manner of" should qualify a plural noun.

When I look at a clock when wanking and think "oh hurry up, it's getting late", it virtually guarantees it will take another 20min at least and my whole arm will be exhausted. My orgasm is a devious beast.

[novanumbernine.livejournal.com]

i'm pretty sure it's "manner", it's from shakespeare - see my quote above!

n.x :)

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

I am shocked, shocked, that I didn't know about the Hamlet. Here I am, putting myself through a course of world literature, where it is evident that what I should be doing is reading my way through Shakespeare. Aaack!

Yes, timed wanking is a red herring. It's the one activity you would surely only time if you were paid for it. *cackles in sympathy*

Um. I'm quite speedy these days.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

P.S. Re exhausted arm. Handy hint: buy a better vibrator. *giggles*

[viva-gloria.livejournal.com]

isn't five minutes rather ... ambitious .. .re several of these activities? (Esp see eyebrowofdoom above on clock-watching.)

Def. 'to the manner born'

'all manner of plurals' seems right to me: it looks odd with a singular noun, though -- strangely -- the more abstract the noun, the better. ('All manner of activity' less obviously nasty than 'all manner of coat'.)

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, using 'coat' as the test case clinches the deal. 'All manner of coat' is totally absurd. Now as to all manor of coat.... Ack. As I said to the Eyebrow, here I am putting myself through a course of world literature where it is quite clear that what I ought to be doing is reading Shakespeare!

As to the wanking: yes, I concur with both of you, and as I also said above: the only occasion upon which to time one's wanking can only be if you're paid for it.

Also, the bloody timer doesn't work on my home computer. You need some sort of snazzy Java something or other fucky thing. And it looked like such a fun toy, too!

[novanumbernine.livejournal.com]

you can download the java plug-in for your browser, 'tis free!

n.x :)

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Laz will attest that I am hopeless at downloading. I never find the right site, I never seem to have the right platform or version or whatnot. I need to have someone do it for me. Next time I've got lazlet at the desk with me!! :-)

[viva-gloria.livejournal.com]

I use a kitchen timer. For housework, that is. Am intending to buy a prettier one, to make it more fun: the current one says 'Simply Delicious' on it, and I want one that looks like something else (a tomato, a banana, something).

Am now horribly reminded of that thread about cucumber-shaped vibrators. Will never sleep tonight.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

A timer shaped like Dom! Or like a vibrator! Or like Brad Pitt's Tag Heuer watch!

The possibilities!

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

P.S. I am still intrigued as to why timing some of these activities should be ambitious. *gg* An improv is inherently timed, after all. Wanking: well, time slot can be extended at one's pleasure. Vacuuming the keyboard (if one should ever actually do this -- I did it when my sticky keyboard died on me) will surely not take longer than 2 mins max. And SHINING THE SINK: well, I've got that one down to seconds by now. Heh.

So how is this ambitious???

[travelingcarrot.livejournal.com]

I suppose some people would regard it as an achievement of an ambition to, erm, conclude, one's wank within five minutes, (assuming one is female since most men seem to be able to do it in about three), but personally I would see it as lacking ambition.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Hahah! *laughs redundantly*

I have two things to say to this:

1) If climaxing within 5 minutes is to achieve an ambition, I'm in. I need all the achievements I can gather in my procrastinating, guilt-ridden life. It's just a matter of re-classifying, heh!

2) I'm afraid my wank times these days are well under 5 minutes... Perhaps I should do the opposite? Set the timer for 20 and eke the whole thing out a bit? *cackles* The quickie is a bit, well, quick. But that is also its merit, after all.

[travelingcarrot.livejournal.com]

I was going to say more about the 'making it last' thing but I feared straying into TMI. I'm trying to make it an aim to force myself to hold out longer and make more of a meal than a snack, so to speak.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Oh, don't fear. This LJ has seen some pretty TMI in its day. *cackles*

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Oh, and on the subject of TMI: I tried the meal thing today and it was quite amazing.

Ooh yeah.

Didn't have a timer with me, though. Heh.

[viva-gloria.livejournal.com]

The very notion of Achieving in a five-minute slot is alien to me. Especially, as noted above, on the orgasm level. Am doing that 60-second word-a-day thing: sure, can write, but is often nonsense. Vaccuuming [Hmph, looks wrong however I spell it] the keyboard might take rather less time, I suppose. (I just shake mine out of the window, it being wireless.) Shining the sink takes me no time at all <g>

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

*cackles some more*

As if I would time my onanistic quickies...

Well, I could, I guess! Kink-o-rama. But then, in such matters, time is subjective above all.

*smiles innocently*