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lobelia321If you want to write badfic!dialogue, it might be helpful to take a leaf out of the most cherished examples of same.
For instance:
"I was getting changed, and you were watching me with your eyes on stalks, your tongue hanging out, and your groin humping a schoolbag."
I didn't know what to say.
"You know I'm not making it up," he said. "Why do you think I picked you as a friend? I knew from the start that we were... similar."
"What are you talking about? What do you mean similar -- are you saying I'm gay?"
"No -- I'm just saying that we shared a degree of confusion. That's why we were attracted to each other."
"Attracted?"
"YES!"
"You were attracted to me?" I asked.
"Not as much as you were to me -- but I thought you were OK. Have to admit -- I prefer your brother."
"I can't fucking believe this! Everything's happening at once. It's too much."
"Mark," said Dan, "nothing's happening at once. It's all been unfolding with exceptional slowness over the last two years, but you've just been too thick to notice anything until it's jammed down your throat. What the hell did you think I was doing spending all that time in Harrow? Admiring the architecture?"
"I can't believe it! This is all too much. I can't believe that my brother and my best friend are both gay. It's unbelievable!"
Badfic, you say? Published badfic!!! It is from page 185 the novel New Boy by William Sutcliffe, published by Penguin!!!
*tosses book into Oxfam bag*
*palms face*
I don't know: badfic affords mild amusement when it's online, especially when I see my flist ranting on about it but in published format, it makes me want to vomit. Someone paid money for this??? (And it was me, too! Lured by the sultry cover! )
Well, I can but blacken this author's name. Heh, the online policy of niceness I pursue with respect to badfic!authoresses doesn't hold, I find, when it comes to real, published, he-got-royalties-for-this fiction!! In the words of the author himself: I can't believe it!
If you cannot see why the above is execrable, let me know and I shall rant on in 'How to write badfic!dialogue, lesson nr. 2". *gg*
For instance:
"I was getting changed, and you were watching me with your eyes on stalks, your tongue hanging out, and your groin humping a schoolbag."
I didn't know what to say.
"You know I'm not making it up," he said. "Why do you think I picked you as a friend? I knew from the start that we were... similar."
"What are you talking about? What do you mean similar -- are you saying I'm gay?"
"No -- I'm just saying that we shared a degree of confusion. That's why we were attracted to each other."
"Attracted?"
"YES!"
"You were attracted to me?" I asked.
"Not as much as you were to me -- but I thought you were OK. Have to admit -- I prefer your brother."
"I can't fucking believe this! Everything's happening at once. It's too much."
"Mark," said Dan, "nothing's happening at once. It's all been unfolding with exceptional slowness over the last two years, but you've just been too thick to notice anything until it's jammed down your throat. What the hell did you think I was doing spending all that time in Harrow? Admiring the architecture?"
"I can't believe it! This is all too much. I can't believe that my brother and my best friend are both gay. It's unbelievable!"
Badfic, you say? Published badfic!!! It is from page 185 the novel New Boy by William Sutcliffe, published by Penguin!!!
*tosses book into Oxfam bag*
*palms face*
I don't know: badfic affords mild amusement when it's online, especially when I see my flist ranting on about it but in published format, it makes me want to vomit. Someone paid money for this??? (And it was me, too! Lured by the sultry cover! )
Well, I can but blacken this author's name. Heh, the online policy of niceness I pursue with respect to badfic!authoresses doesn't hold, I find, when it comes to real, published, he-got-royalties-for-this fiction!! In the words of the author himself: I can't believe it!
If you cannot see why the above is execrable, let me know and I shall rant on in 'How to write badfic!dialogue, lesson nr. 2". *gg*