whatever happened to writing?

[lobelia321]

My erstwhile fandom cronies have scattered into the seventeen directions of the wind. gabbyhope has given up the writing but is happy and doesn't mind. sheldrake is stricken by blockage. azewewish seems gripped by the nostalgia I feel at odd intervals and is now reposting the fic from doom (that would be the one that wrung my heart and sucked me into lotrips so deep I'm still reeling for oxygen). thejennabides hasn't penned a fic in ages.

Others, though, sail blithely from fandom to fandom, posting fic and collecting feedback as if it were the most natural thing in the world (as, indeed, it was for me once). For instance, resonant8 and julad.

And now evenbadgermonkey, the first and the most determined (and the most missed!!) abscondrix of them all, is turning out fic gems at the rate of warp speeds and pondering new fandoms!!!

I have the blockage of posting. But I am not happy about it. I want to post. And I want to finish fic. And I want to be able to throw little fics out into the ether at the same time as chipping away at that big block of opus of brain-eating opus of mine. I want the fluidum of yore! And the feedback! I find my barren LJ state frustrating. But then, the strange spasm of the heart that set in when I skimmed over Brenda's reposting of F&G and the way I ran off to dig up my print-out of the one and only original F&G made me realise that my reading, too, has changed. I do not read with the same breathless passion and need. Altthough I am still finding fics that I enjoy hugely and discovering writers who are wonderful. But it doesn't make me write, and it used to.

Grr. How do people cope with huge long wippy fics that go on forever and ever and gobble up their cortices?

Comments

[msilverstar]

Well of course we don't stay still. Some of us end up writing RPGs and collaborations because they are so much fun. And reading isn't the same, though most of my old favorites stand up to my new critical eyes. I keep reccing, too.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Well of course we don't stay still.
This is the problem. Everyone else seems to be moving on and I seem to be stuck.

[brightest-blue.livejournal.com]

Grr. How do people cope with huge long wippy fics that go on forever and ever and gobble up their cortices?

Not so well. I have a horrible feeling it will never be finished, and until it's finished I can't move on to something else without feeling guilty. If only I could write something short!

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Ack, I forgot you're in the same boat as I am! No posting, no fun, just obsessing and then being determined not to obsess because it's only stupid porny derivative smut, right, and then waking up in the middle of night and fantasizing and so fucking on.

Aaack! And the fear of not finishing! I hate that! I loved that about my earlier lotrips incarnation: that for the first time in my life I was finishing stuff!

[brightest-blue.livejournal.com]

No posting, no fun, just obsessing and then being determined not to obsess because it's only stupid porny derivative smut, right, and then waking up in the middle of night and fantasizing and so fucking on.

I always feel there are a hundred other, more "important" things I could be obsessing about, but this must fill some porny void in our lives; why would we do it otherwise?

I'm trying to take a page from your book and write just 15 minutes a day. It hasn't happened yet, but if it does, I may yet finish this fic in this lifetime. Now if only the damn, completely unnecessary sequel would leave me alone!

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

I had to modify FlyLady on the 15 minutes and follow this other, academic lifecoach lady whom I stumbled across on the web and who advocates the 'tolerable ten'. That's about all I can manage: ten minutes of writing. Then the idea is to exceed that but if on one day I do only 10 minutes, I get to give myself the gold star (which is another FlyLady idea). So I would advise going for 10 minutes! So far this has worked for me -- not for fic, I've implemented it only for my rl book for the time being.

I am in a constant flux about the importance of the porn. Considering the amount of time, energy and inkjet ink I have spent on t'porn, it would seem to be tremendously important in my life. But in my head it is 'not important' and I feel guilty for indulging in it too excessively. I feel if I am writing any fic at all, it should at least be orig! Which I haven't had much of an interest in since slash. :-( But in the last few weeks, with my busy new schedule, I've had hardly any time to read or write, and I've missed it! My life is out of balance if I can't have my dose of smut!