I feel so sad hearing that you are this down. Have you tried everything, treatment-wise? I've always been plagued by the old black dog too and can't tolerate most anti-depressants, but I've found one now that works for me. It acts on dopamine, not seratonin like most of the other modern drugs, and in the UK for some bizarre reason is usually only prescribed as an aid to giving up smoking, but it really keeps me from despairing and helps me to stay motivated to deal with the things that get me down in the first place, which I personally think is the most important thing for any depression treatment to do. And of course there is therapy/counselling/etc, though I know it is so hard to find the right therapist. Do you think a different work pattern might really help? If so, good luck with the interview. Sorry I can't help about continuing education. I'm sure they will be more interested in your general skills and knowledge than in whether you already know all about the job. I've found teaching is much the same whatever context you do it in, and so is administration and research.
Thanks for the tip about the interview. I will feel more confident knowing a bit more, though, so am off to t'reference library tomorrow.
I'm not sure how long we've known each other but not years, I don't think. When I first joined LJ, I hit depression big time and then went to counselling for 1 1/2 years. I also tried drugs but didn't like the idea of them so threw the second lot into the bin which was rather liberating at the time. I knew what my problem was (my mother) and I couldn't see how tablets were going to fix my mother. But the counselling, despite being often horrible, helped a lot and that problem is now, amazingly, solved! But the depression isn't. :-(
Mainly I do FlyLady. *g* Keeps me busy. And they do say that keeping busy is important for depression. I try not to lie in bed too much and think.
*g* Tablets won't fix your mother. But what you have to fix is the fact that your mother gets/got you down, which is another matter, and also the fact that even when the visible cause is removed, you still have the depression. As someone rightly says below, once your brain chemistry gets stuck in a downward tendency (even if there are peaks and troughs, the principle is the same), it can be very hard to break out of that by yourself. I agree with you about keeping busy - as long as the busyness is genuinely constructive and not just trying to mask what is going on deep down. Whatever happens, try to talk to people whenever you can. Isolation is the absolute worst thing. And remember we love you!
Well, I'm doing stuff so that's better than not doing stuff but, being compulsive-depressive bleurch, I always look at what more I should be doing. I find it so hard just to relax and enjoy what I have done.
I actually planted another shrub today! I cleared a bit of my garden that has been looking awful for over two years. I thought it would take me a long time but all the weeds had shallow roots and came out just like that. I planted a ceanothus! And all the other plants look really nice, too! Thank you for remembering!
there are two kinds of weeds - glad yours were the easy sort. i looked yours up - the clusters of flowers look very pretty. what colour did you get? flowering shrubs are great - colourful yet pretty low maintenance if you're not regimental about their shape.
that problem is now, amazingly, solved! But the depression isn't.
Hm. I suspect someone has said this to you before, but sometimes our brain chemistries benefit from being "reset" by antidepressants, as it seems to be difficult for them to reset themselves. Especially since you say that you've dealt with the issue that was dragging you down, it might be worth going on them for 6 months or something just to get back on the, er, happy horse. Alternately, St John's Wort also works quite well for mild depression and doesn't require a prescription, in the US at least.
I also don't like the idea of antidepressants the way they often get used, to help someone feel good enough without dealing with the issues in his/her life. But don't you think your case is different? I don't take antibiotics frivolously either, but sometimes my body needs help handling an infection. As down as you seem to be feeling lately, I hope you'll reconsider some kind of pharmaceutical assistance. And whatever you choose to do, I very much hope that you feel perkier soon.
I am quite resistant to medication so I will have to say 'no' to your kind suggestions. And now the depression has gone away! It comes without reason, it goes without reason! The only thing, I think, is to hunker down. And it goes much, much faster than it used to. This one lasted for about two weeks but they used to last for two years!
Gardening, gardening, gardening! BUT, I've found that the pills weren't working because I was on too low a dosage. My Dr. had me increase by 50%, and while it took a good eight weeks, I'm starting to notice a difference. But do what you have to do. Good luck, and *hugs*
That's because you're not watching Battlestar Galactica. My icons are 100% BSG. It's out on DVD and nothing like your average Sci-Fi show. There was a crappy, action-oriented version in the seventies, but while some of the characters remain the same, it's a completely different show.
Plus, out of 8 or so main characters, 4 are women; none are damsels in distress- in fact, one is a rather frightening villain, one is a pilot who doesn't know she's a villain, one is the president of what remains of humanity, and one is the best fighter pilot in the whole fleet (see icon). The men aren't bad, either. :-) Plus, they're polytheists who worship the Greek god and goddesses. I'm totally addicted.
It's best to watch the 2003 miniseries first (IMO, not quite as good as the actual series, but definitely worth watching, plus it gives you the whole background), and the 13 episodes of season 1 are out in UK, but not here. Season 2 starts here in mid-July.
So, in other words, you have to watch the show to get the icons.
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(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-12 09:34 pm (UTC)Do you think a different work pattern might really help? If so, good luck with the interview. Sorry I can't help about continuing education. I'm sure they will be more interested in your general skills and knowledge than in whether you already know all about the job. I've found teaching is much the same whatever context you do it in, and so is administration and research.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-12 10:53 pm (UTC)I'm not sure how long we've known each other but not years, I don't think. When I first joined LJ, I hit depression big time and then went to counselling for 1 1/2 years. I also tried drugs but didn't like the idea of them so threw the second lot into the bin which was rather liberating at the time. I knew what my problem was (my mother) and I couldn't see how tablets were going to fix my mother. But the counselling, despite being often horrible, helped a lot and that problem is now, amazingly, solved! But the depression isn't. :-(
Mainly I do FlyLady. *g* Keeps me busy. And they do say that keeping busy is important for depression. I try not to lie in bed too much and think.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-13 12:34 pm (UTC)I agree with you about keeping busy - as long as the busyness is genuinely constructive and not just trying to mask what is going on deep down.
Whatever happens, try to talk to people whenever you can. Isolation is the absolute worst thing. And remember we love you!
(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-12 09:44 pm (UTC)*clings to you*
(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-12 10:50 pm (UTC)Well, I'm doing stuff so that's better than not doing stuff but, being compulsive-depressive bleurch, I always look at what more I should be doing. I find it so hard just to relax and enjoy what I have done.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-12 10:03 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-12 10:47 pm (UTC)I love your pots!
(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-13 01:27 am (UTC)and i love my pots too!
(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-13 01:37 am (UTC)that problem is now, amazingly, solved! But the depression isn't.
Hm. I suspect someone has said this to you before, but sometimes our brain chemistries benefit from being "reset" by antidepressants, as it seems to be difficult for them to reset themselves. Especially since you say that you've dealt with the issue that was dragging you down, it might be worth going on them for 6 months or something just to get back on the, er, happy horse. Alternately, St John's Wort also works quite well for mild depression and doesn't require a prescription, in the US at least.
I also don't like the idea of antidepressants the way they often get used, to help someone feel good enough without dealing with the issues in his/her life. But don't you think your case is different? I don't take antibiotics frivolously either, but sometimes my body needs help handling an infection. As down as you seem to be feeling lately, I hope you'll reconsider some kind of pharmaceutical assistance. And whatever you choose to do, I very much hope that you feel perkier soon.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-13 09:59 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-13 11:06 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-13 09:46 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-13 09:59 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-14 10:13 am (UTC)Plus, out of 8 or so main characters, 4 are women; none are damsels in distress- in fact, one is a rather frightening villain, one is a pilot who doesn't know she's a villain, one is the president of what remains of humanity, and one is the best fighter pilot in the whole fleet (see icon). The men aren't bad, either. :-) Plus, they're polytheists who worship the Greek god and goddesses. I'm totally addicted.
It's best to watch the 2003 miniseries first (IMO, not quite as good as the actual series, but definitely worth watching, plus it gives you the whole background), and the 13 episodes of season 1 are out in UK, but not here. Season 2 starts here in mid-July.
So, in other words, you have to watch the show to get the icons.