the dog has gone!

[lobelia321]

Thank you to all the sweet people who offered comfort in the shape of suggestions about St John's Wort (I love it for the name) and pictures of fluffy bunnies (the latter were strangely effective).

The depression comes, and the depression goes, both without rhyme or reason, and now it's gone! orlisbunny asked me what triggered it off, and my counsellor used to ask me that, but I don't know! Nothing seems to trigger it off, and nothing seems to trigger it on when it goes away again, so I tend to think it's like the weather: I just have to hunker down and wait for it to go away and learn to be confident that it willgo away. I'm growing better at the latter. And anyway, this is a huge improvement, as t'h said with a sigh of relief tonight, on what it used to be like: this one lasted for only about two weeks and they used to last for two years.

Anyway, just thought you'd like to know that the Dog is Gone! Wheee!

So what's the first thing I wanted to do? Write snippets of Draco's and Dudley's and Crabbe's childhood. As kind of personal background for myself, to figure out what exactly Draco's relationship is to his father (so that I can figure out what he is going to do when he finally finds him in the penultimate chapter!) and whether Draco ever touched Crabbe's burgeoning willy in early adolescence and other stuff about Cuddly Dudley. What do you reckon? Should I? Just blurgh this onto LJ?

Also, thanks to everyone who shared their thoughts and experiences on continuing education. I did about an hour's worth of research in t'reference library today and found out loads more.

Holiday plans: We are going to Bonnieux in Provence! We are staying with our friend's mother. We've been there before, it is gorgeous! I may even get to wear my new sandals!

Speaking of new sandals: How I love the new fashions

I hated those ugly mules. Those ugly mules were the bane of the 1990s. They tended to be black and they tended to have chunky heels and although they were mildly comfortable (I borrowed a pair once), they made everyone's feet and legs look so ugly! Everyone's heels were cracked and red, everyone's toenails covered in garish, chipped nail polish and growing in odd shapes, everyone's gait scuffling and dragging. The flesh of the lower soles protruded unbecomingly over the sharp edges of the mules and who wants to see heels exposed to the naked air, anyway??! I am so glad I resisted them! And it's been a long wait!

But now the flat ballerinas are back! I love the flat ballerinas! I loved them when they first came back in the 1980s, and I love them now. I must buy dozens of pairs to tide me over the next hiatus in acceptable shoe fashion. Everyone suddenly looks gorgeous! Every leg looks shapely, in its knee-length, swirly skirt (I love those knee-length, swirly skirts!!) and in its foot-hugging flat ballerina. The part of the foot that is left exposed, just the top, looks good on almost anyone, and the way the flexing toe-bones translate into interesting tendon shapes above the front edge of the flat ballerina simply adds to the appeal. I can walk gracefully, without scuffling (in an attempt to keep the fucking mule attached to the foot without slipping off) or hobbling (on high heels wot I have never learned to walk on properly). I can wear footlings without looking ridiculous! I get to ogle all those beautiful women who suddenly seem to populate the streets!

I love those flat ballerinas!

Comments

[ithiliana.livejournal.com]

*hmm* A number of years ago I was diagnosed with "cyclical biochemical depression," which consisted of periodic (not at regular intervals) and extreme bouts of depression, not caused by any external factors (that was what made it so baffling, could come at times when I was doing well, incredibly happy, etc.) Had it throughout my life, and it was treatable with medication. All had to do with brain chemistry and what was or wasn't being produced, and one of the criteria was that it would suddenly go away. Don't know if it's at all possible you have something similar or if that terminology is at all used these days (this was um back in early eighties). I still have to watch for it, and in fact, went through a very bad spell in peri-menopause a couple of years back, and then last summer when in fact I was under a lot of stress anyway, and it hit again.

Second the lovely look of flat ballerinas though I have such a high arch I cannot wear them comfortably, darn it.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

A high arch is so sexy it does not need the aid of ballerinas.

I was never diagnosed with anything. I went to the G.P. and said 'I think I'm really depressed' and he said 'Yes, your symptoms point to bad depression, here, have this medication' within three minutes of my having walked into the study. Then I went into counselling and she also never diagnosed me as such. In a way, I'm just self-diagnosing. My bouts have not lasted for more than two weeks since the counselling (this one now was the longest one in many years) so I'm not bothering with further G.P. visits. But it's interesting that it hit you when happy. For my taste, the doctor was too medication-happy and saw it too much as a mechanical thing, triggered by serotomes (or whatever those things in the brain are called again) and the counsellor was inclined to be too psychoterappy and always seeking for triggers from my emotional life or my family life. So I'm struggling to find some meaningful middle path of dealing with this for myself.

[msilverstar]

yes, ballerina flats and swirly skirts were big in France too, hooray!

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

But they're not in the US??

[msilverstar]

I don't go out much... the fourteen year old girls seem to be wearing skintight jeans.

[brightest-blue.livejournal.com]

Hooray! Goodbye black doggie! That's the best part now; knowing it WILL go away. That realization alone probably makes you feel better.

Mixed feelings on the mules-well, I never liked them that much; I wore slingbacks, but since the weather usually sucked, boots. But it's hard not to wear a heel, especially with a swirly skirt, of which I already had a few, if you can imagine. :-) Right now,I'm very much into cheap flip-flops in all colors, although I might try some of the ballerina flats.