snippet for severusslave
May. 1st, 2006 06:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lobelia321For ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
severusslave who asked for this:
I'd like an overt narrator, auctorial point of view and the focus to be on Lorne. (F.K. Stanzel) // An heterodiegetic narrator with Lorne as focalizer (G. Genette).
(I am ignoring any text prompts on the image, btw. Just the pic. *g*)
Let us fly down
Let us fly down. Let us zoom in and take a look at what's sitting down below on the planet floor. What we discover is the following: a squat space vehicle, metallic, of foreign make, over ten thousand years old but still as good as the day it was assembled.
Inside: Major Lorne Parrish.
Status: Breathing and alive. Corpuscles coursing through his veins. A small coldsore forming above his left rear molar. He worries at it with his tongue.
He worries about something else, too. Doctor McKay hasn't checked in for twenty-one minutes now. And he was supposed to check in after twenty minutes of absence in the forest. And now it's been twenty-one minutes. No -- Lorne checks his watch --: twenty-two minutes.
Hell and damnation. He is always doing this. Getting himself into scrapes.
Lorne peers into the undergrowth. Meaningless numbers scroll on past on the HUD.
It is well-known that waiting for the proverbial kettle to boil makes people fidget and fret. One should get up and do something. One should occupy one's thoughts and hands. Major Lorne Parrish remembers this in the twenty-fourth minute.
"I'll give him another five", he thinks. "Another five, and no more."
Like the well-trained marine that he is, the major scrolls through possible mental diversions in his head. Count sheep? Too inane. Pace? Too insane. Play Xena the Warrior Princess? Left the damn gameboy at home. Swirl his tongue around that coldsore for the twenty-millionth time?
The gentle reader will be pleased to note that after a minute of internal debate, Major Lorne Parrish fell back on the good old tried and tested method.
Masturbate to climax in three-and-a-half minutes flat.
But.
One minute into the activity, a voice. And it's not coming through the comm, either. It's live, and it's situated just outside the gate ship's door, and now it's situated just inside the gate ship's door.
"Major? Hello! It's me! I'm back, and I thought you might be interested to know..."
Shut up, McKay. Just shut up and watch.
severusslave who asked for this:I'd like an overt narrator, auctorial point of view and the focus to be on Lorne. (F.K. Stanzel) // An heterodiegetic narrator with Lorne as focalizer (G. Genette).
(I am ignoring any text prompts on the image, btw. Just the pic. *g*)
Let us fly down
Let us fly down. Let us zoom in and take a look at what's sitting down below on the planet floor. What we discover is the following: a squat space vehicle, metallic, of foreign make, over ten thousand years old but still as good as the day it was assembled.
Inside: Major Lorne Parrish.
Status: Breathing and alive. Corpuscles coursing through his veins. A small coldsore forming above his left rear molar. He worries at it with his tongue.
He worries about something else, too. Doctor McKay hasn't checked in for twenty-one minutes now. And he was supposed to check in after twenty minutes of absence in the forest. And now it's been twenty-one minutes. No -- Lorne checks his watch --: twenty-two minutes.
Hell and damnation. He is always doing this. Getting himself into scrapes.
Lorne peers into the undergrowth. Meaningless numbers scroll on past on the HUD.
It is well-known that waiting for the proverbial kettle to boil makes people fidget and fret. One should get up and do something. One should occupy one's thoughts and hands. Major Lorne Parrish remembers this in the twenty-fourth minute.
"I'll give him another five", he thinks. "Another five, and no more."
Like the well-trained marine that he is, the major scrolls through possible mental diversions in his head. Count sheep? Too inane. Pace? Too insane. Play Xena the Warrior Princess? Left the damn gameboy at home. Swirl his tongue around that coldsore for the twenty-millionth time?
The gentle reader will be pleased to note that after a minute of internal debate, Major Lorne Parrish fell back on the good old tried and tested method.
Masturbate to climax in three-and-a-half minutes flat.
But.
One minute into the activity, a voice. And it's not coming through the comm, either. It's live, and it's situated just outside the gate ship's door, and now it's situated just inside the gate ship's door.
"Major? Hello! It's me! I'm back, and I thought you might be interested to know..."
Shut up, McKay. Just shut up and watch.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-05-01 06:44 pm (UTC)Count sheep? Too inane. Pace? Too insane. Ha! Brilliant.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-05-01 09:04 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-05-01 10:40 pm (UTC)Wasn't it Lorne reluctantly having to look after Rodney in the ep where they're looking for Ford after he's gone all wraithy and weird? Or is my memory playing tricks on me? In which case, spot on, I'd say.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-05-02 11:07 am (UTC)It was fun having the intrusive narrator, that was a good stylistic prompt. It made dismissing Lorne easier because he says nothing to me. But I would like to re-view the forest interaction between him and McKay because that was good stuff!! That is in 'The Runner'. *is nerd*