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lobelia321All that talking about persons and tenses has made me realise that I haven't written any stylistic experiments for a while (and ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sheldrake may spank me for it, *g*). But I decided that one of my weaknesses is plot structure, so that plot structure is the thing I want to practise next. There is only so far you can go in experimental snippets and ficlets because you end up practising micro-structure (prose style, paragraphs, voice etc.) but not macro-structure (pace, rhythm, interval, chapters and sub-chapters / sections, temporal elisions, duration, frequency, order, the architecture of plot).
So I thought I would use my wraith!fic to practise plot structure. After trying out a few styles, I also thought I would try a rather neutral, third person, fairly detached observer!narratorial voice and a prose style using mostly complete sentences (the latter comes very uneasy to me; I keep truncating). I am finding that style a struggle so it is probably all the more important to keep going with it as it might mean I will learn something. I got the idea after re-reading Gabriel Garcia Marquez's Diary of a Castaway which is written in a very neutral style, suited to a Robinson-Crusoeish adventure story. And wraith!fic is a castaway story so I thought that style might also suit.
But it is hard! Except I get to veer into wraith-pov at intervals, hahaha. And that is going to be pure joy. Because I learned one thing replying to that many-comments-generating post on persons and tenses: that first person plural will be eminently suited to wraith!pov because it is such a hive voice! (Eh, Gerard, you never knew that, did you? Genette, that is. My hero. *sighs* Oh, and Mikhail. He is my hero, too. Mikhail Bakhtin.)
I am also reading Jane Smiley's Thirteen Ways of Looking at the Novel of which the most interesting chapters are the two practical How-To ones. I may post useful shards of advice anon.
I am not sure all of my flist knows this; there have been a few newcomers over the last year, but I am actually writing a book on narrative for which I read loads of narrative theory so I love (LOVE) applying the theory to actual writing. And the actual writing sometimes disproves the theory, or sheds new light on it, or spins it around in an interesting way.
Experimental snippety-poohs, using HP fandom, practising persons and focalisations but not muddying the issue with switching tenses so sticking to the past (including simple past, past present, continuous past, pluperfect), the present in direct speech (simple and continuous present) and the future as it becomes necessary
Note: 'focalisation' is Genette's term for pov.
Note the second: The above absurd enumeration made me realise that choosing one tense for a fic is actually more artificial than just using the lot of them. I tried to use only future tense for the ficlet I wrote for phineasjones and it felt very artificial! I guess what I mean is that I'm going to pick one tense as a sort of groundswell tense.
•First person singular, internal character-bound focalisation (or the narrator saying as much as the characters know)
Fuck. It really was him, really, truly. I couldn't believe my eyes at first, and then I wanted to punch him one, and then I tasted the old bile down my throat.
•First person singular, external focalisation (or the narrator saying less than the characters know)
I was walking down the street when I bumped into a man. He was around my age and he reminded me of someone. The eyes were the same, the jawline was the same but the hair was longer, tied up in a pony tail. The main difference, though, was the guy's forehead: smooth as a tabletop.
So I knew it couldn't be my cousin.
Note on the above: The experiment failed to live up to external focalisation, I think, because the narrator says as much as the characters know, actually. I will try again later.
•Second person singular, zero focalisation (a confusing term for omniscience or the narrator saying more than the characters know), heterodiegetic narrator (who is not part of the narrative)
Go on, Dudley. You know it's him, deep down you know. You've got that sensation of bile choking up your throat, haven't you? And you know what that means, right? That means the presence of... Don't deny it! Don't pretend you don't remember!
That means the presence of magic.
Note: Again, I think I failed at the omniscience. The narrator really tells the character stuff the character knows; the narrator doesn't really say more than the character knows. Bugger it. Either this is just way, way difficult or Genette and Mieke Bal, my narratology gurus, got it wrong! Or paid too much attention to this aspect at the expense of others. Whoops, and I reneged on the past tense as well...
• Third person singular, zero focalisation (omniscience)
Dudley walked along Wardour Street when he happened upon his cousin Harry, loitering at a junction. Dudley didn't recognise Harry at first; he hadn't seen his cousin for close to six years and Harry's appearance had changed; for one, Harry's former distinguishing mark, the jagged scar across his forehead, was no longer there.
Harry, on the other hand, recognised Dudley straight away. If anything, Dudley had changed even more in the intervening years than had Harry; he now fitted into shop-bought clothes in standard sizes; he also wore silver rings on his fingers, a leather bracelet around his wrist and a hoop through his left earlobe. But Harry knew who this was and used the opportunity of Dudley's momentary confusion to disappear into thin air.
•Third person singular, external focalisation
Dudley stopped walking. He stared at the guy on the corner.
In the blink of an eye, the guy was gone; it was not known how or whither.
•First person plural, character-bound internal focalisation (HP/SGA crossover)
WE ARE THE WRAITH. WE NEED TO FEED. WE SAW LIVESTOCK ON THIS TERRAN PLANET. BUT JUST AS WE WERE ABOUT TO BEAM IT UP, ONE OF THE SPECIMEN DISAPPEARED. WE KNEW AT ONCE THAT THE Q'RX*/ HIVE WAS BEHIND THIS. THEY HAVE BEEN POACHING UPON OUR FEEDING GROUNDS FOR MONTHS. WE SEARCHED THE AREA, TRYING TO LOCATE THEIR SHIP, BUT IT WAS WELL-CLOAKED AND WE DID NOT SUCCEED IN FINDING IT.
•Second person plural, homodiegetic narrator (who is part of the narrative), character-bound internal focalisation
You two colluded. There should be no collusion between you, a wizard and a mere mortal, how is this possible? But you did, and you lied to cover it up. You lied to me and you colluded behind my back!
This didn't work at all as it was really a first-person narrator. Let's try again. This is hard.
•Second person plural, heterodiegetic narrator (who is not part of the narrative), character-bound internal focalisation
You two colluded. Although you did not view it as collusion; you thought it was love.
I'm not sure I can keep this one up for longer than two sentences.
•Third person plural, heterodiegetic narrator (not part of narrative), zero focalisation (omniscience)
Dudley and Draco walked along Wardour Street. They crossed the street into Old Compton. At the far end, they turned up the stairs to enter a pastry shop with a French name. There, they bought themselves a bag of almond croissants.
God, what a boring paragraph. Third person plural needs some other form of character. I can't have Dudley and Draco joined at the hip! In fact, the only plural person that worked for me was the hive. I think these plural persons need to be carefully matched to characters.
Phew, that was more exhausting than expected. And I still can't keep all those bloody focalisations distinct in my brain. I had to have my list of narrative terms open in another window for reference. Maybe this is a symptom that there is something flawed about these terms. But what?
sheldrake may spank me for it, *g*). But I decided that one of my weaknesses is plot structure, so that plot structure is the thing I want to practise next. There is only so far you can go in experimental snippets and ficlets because you end up practising micro-structure (prose style, paragraphs, voice etc.) but not macro-structure (pace, rhythm, interval, chapters and sub-chapters / sections, temporal elisions, duration, frequency, order, the architecture of plot). So I thought I would use my wraith!fic to practise plot structure. After trying out a few styles, I also thought I would try a rather neutral, third person, fairly detached observer!narratorial voice and a prose style using mostly complete sentences (the latter comes very uneasy to me; I keep truncating). I am finding that style a struggle so it is probably all the more important to keep going with it as it might mean I will learn something. I got the idea after re-reading Gabriel Garcia Marquez's Diary of a Castaway which is written in a very neutral style, suited to a Robinson-Crusoeish adventure story. And wraith!fic is a castaway story so I thought that style might also suit.
But it is hard! Except I get to veer into wraith-pov at intervals, hahaha. And that is going to be pure joy. Because I learned one thing replying to that many-comments-generating post on persons and tenses: that first person plural will be eminently suited to wraith!pov because it is such a hive voice! (Eh, Gerard, you never knew that, did you? Genette, that is. My hero. *sighs* Oh, and Mikhail. He is my hero, too. Mikhail Bakhtin.)
I am also reading Jane Smiley's Thirteen Ways of Looking at the Novel of which the most interesting chapters are the two practical How-To ones. I may post useful shards of advice anon.
I am not sure all of my flist knows this; there have been a few newcomers over the last year, but I am actually writing a book on narrative for which I read loads of narrative theory so I love (LOVE) applying the theory to actual writing. And the actual writing sometimes disproves the theory, or sheds new light on it, or spins it around in an interesting way.
Experimental snippety-poohs, using HP fandom, practising persons and focalisations but not muddying the issue with switching tenses so sticking to the past (including simple past, past present, continuous past, pluperfect), the present in direct speech (simple and continuous present) and the future as it becomes necessary
Note: 'focalisation' is Genette's term for pov.
Note the second: The above absurd enumeration made me realise that choosing one tense for a fic is actually more artificial than just using the lot of them. I tried to use only future tense for the ficlet I wrote for phineasjones and it felt very artificial! I guess what I mean is that I'm going to pick one tense as a sort of groundswell tense.
•First person singular, internal character-bound focalisation (or the narrator saying as much as the characters know)
Fuck. It really was him, really, truly. I couldn't believe my eyes at first, and then I wanted to punch him one, and then I tasted the old bile down my throat.
•First person singular, external focalisation (or the narrator saying less than the characters know)
I was walking down the street when I bumped into a man. He was around my age and he reminded me of someone. The eyes were the same, the jawline was the same but the hair was longer, tied up in a pony tail. The main difference, though, was the guy's forehead: smooth as a tabletop.
So I knew it couldn't be my cousin.
Note on the above: The experiment failed to live up to external focalisation, I think, because the narrator says as much as the characters know, actually. I will try again later.
•Second person singular, zero focalisation (a confusing term for omniscience or the narrator saying more than the characters know), heterodiegetic narrator (who is not part of the narrative)
Go on, Dudley. You know it's him, deep down you know. You've got that sensation of bile choking up your throat, haven't you? And you know what that means, right? That means the presence of... Don't deny it! Don't pretend you don't remember!
That means the presence of magic.
Note: Again, I think I failed at the omniscience. The narrator really tells the character stuff the character knows; the narrator doesn't really say more than the character knows. Bugger it. Either this is just way, way difficult or Genette and Mieke Bal, my narratology gurus, got it wrong! Or paid too much attention to this aspect at the expense of others. Whoops, and I reneged on the past tense as well...
• Third person singular, zero focalisation (omniscience)
Dudley walked along Wardour Street when he happened upon his cousin Harry, loitering at a junction. Dudley didn't recognise Harry at first; he hadn't seen his cousin for close to six years and Harry's appearance had changed; for one, Harry's former distinguishing mark, the jagged scar across his forehead, was no longer there.
Harry, on the other hand, recognised Dudley straight away. If anything, Dudley had changed even more in the intervening years than had Harry; he now fitted into shop-bought clothes in standard sizes; he also wore silver rings on his fingers, a leather bracelet around his wrist and a hoop through his left earlobe. But Harry knew who this was and used the opportunity of Dudley's momentary confusion to disappear into thin air.
•Third person singular, external focalisation
Dudley stopped walking. He stared at the guy on the corner.
In the blink of an eye, the guy was gone; it was not known how or whither.
•First person plural, character-bound internal focalisation (HP/SGA crossover)
WE ARE THE WRAITH. WE NEED TO FEED. WE SAW LIVESTOCK ON THIS TERRAN PLANET. BUT JUST AS WE WERE ABOUT TO BEAM IT UP, ONE OF THE SPECIMEN DISAPPEARED. WE KNEW AT ONCE THAT THE Q'RX*/ HIVE WAS BEHIND THIS. THEY HAVE BEEN POACHING UPON OUR FEEDING GROUNDS FOR MONTHS. WE SEARCHED THE AREA, TRYING TO LOCATE THEIR SHIP, BUT IT WAS WELL-CLOAKED AND WE DID NOT SUCCEED IN FINDING IT.
•Second person plural, homodiegetic narrator (who is part of the narrative), character-bound internal focalisation
You two colluded. There should be no collusion between you, a wizard and a mere mortal, how is this possible? But you did, and you lied to cover it up. You lied to me and you colluded behind my back!
This didn't work at all as it was really a first-person narrator. Let's try again. This is hard.
•Second person plural, heterodiegetic narrator (who is not part of the narrative), character-bound internal focalisation
You two colluded. Although you did not view it as collusion; you thought it was love.
I'm not sure I can keep this one up for longer than two sentences.
•Third person plural, heterodiegetic narrator (not part of narrative), zero focalisation (omniscience)
Dudley and Draco walked along Wardour Street. They crossed the street into Old Compton. At the far end, they turned up the stairs to enter a pastry shop with a French name. There, they bought themselves a bag of almond croissants.
God, what a boring paragraph. Third person plural needs some other form of character. I can't have Dudley and Draco joined at the hip! In fact, the only plural person that worked for me was the hive. I think these plural persons need to be carefully matched to characters.
Phew, that was more exhausting than expected. And I still can't keep all those bloody focalisations distinct in my brain. I had to have my list of narrative terms open in another window for reference. Maybe this is a symptom that there is something flawed about these terms. But what?