I just can't help myself (SGA/football/lotrips/James Bond/HP -- did I miss anything out?)

[lobelia321]

1.
The phone rang.

Dr Rodney McKay, Director of Research of the Astrophysics Division of Starlight Enterprises with its headquarters in Toronto, Ontario, snatched up the receiver.

"Yes, yes?" he snapped into its grey bakelite mouth. (It was an original retro handset, manufactured in Germany in 1972, purchased from the Director's private funds on e-bay for the sum of 132 euros in a fierce, early-morning bidding battle.)

"Mr Mortensen here to see you. With a Mr... hang on a mo." Miss Moneypenny's muffled voice ruffled the intercom. She was quite clearly talking to someone while covering up her mouthpiece, and someone else was talking back, and Rodney McKay was left impatiently tapping his beechwood table-top with one hand while the other hovered over the touchpad of his laptop.

This was the best fringe benefit of the bakelite phone: its banana-shaped, curvaceous mouthpiece which could be effortlessly tucked into the crook of one's neck, leaving both hands free to do whatever.

There was only the minor discomfort of the spiralling telephone cord getting in the way of one's keyboard fingers.

"With a Mr..." Miss Monepenny pronounced the words with exaggeration. "A Mister dos Santos Aveiro."

"Dos Who Who? What do they want?"

"It's your ten o'clock appointment. It's on your calendar; didn't you check?"

Oh crap. The sponsoring people. "Can't you put them off? I'm busy with important things!"

"We've already put them off fourteen times, Dr M," fluted Miss Moneypenny. Rodney had no idea why she insisted on addressing him as 'Dr M', or sometimes even just as 'M'. He suspected some elaborate receptionist's insider joke.

"Okay, okay," he said, annoyed but resigned, and clipped his laptop shut. Wouldn't do to leave sensitive information displayed for all and sundry to peruse. "Send him in. But why's he got this Mr Who de Who with him? Can't he wait outside?"

"Oh," crooned Miss Moneypenny and giggled. "I'd love to detain him here with me. But I'm afraid that won't be feasible. He's here for the photoshoot with you. The ad campaign."

Oh double crap. "They have until 10.20!" Rodney barked. "Max!"

"Wait until you see him," gurgled Miss Moneypenny.

TO BE CONTINUED

Comments

[crowswing.livejournal.com]

crossover explosion crack is just the best. snappy!

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

There's more to come!! I just felt like posting the beginning; don't have time to type it all out from my longhand today and didn't want to wait! But football fandom is making me re-discover my footloose and fancy free ficcishness... :-)

[karneol-vision.livejournal.com]

Cool. That's a pretty weird crossover isn't it? Well, what was it? I think I might look forward to reading a Stargate fic :D

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

*cackles*

It had to be done. That is, it had to be done for my own health. More anon!!

[junalele.livejournal.com]

This was the best fringe benefit of the bakelite phone: its banana-shaped, curvaceous mouthpiece which could be effortlessly tucked into the crook of one's neck, leaving both hands free to do whatever.
We had one of those, too. They were so great. Not like these modern tiny things which you always need to hold in one hand. The old ones... I once talked with a friend for 12 hours straight when I was about twelve years old. Because yes, you could eat and play and do whatever with your hands. I want them back!!!

Love the beginning already. The telephone istantly won me over. Can't wait for the photo shoot. Also will there be a white cat with too much fluffy hair? Mixing fandoms I know but it would be so fitting...

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

How is the white cat with too much hair mixing fandoms? I mean, this fic is about mixing fandoms. But are you thinking Rodney's cat or are you thinking Blofeld's cat? Hoho.

And there are going to be explosions. Yes. And sex in a lift.

I need a bakelite-phone icon.

[junalele.livejournal.com]

I guess, Rodney's cat? Could be the cat his ex left him? A really annoying cat? Or will there be some kind of evil overlord later on? What with the explosions. Then it would have to bis/her cat...

Sex in a lift? All I can say - whereever! As long as Cristianochen is involved. :D

I need a bakelite-phone icon.
Got one first!

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Your icon!!!

*screams*

[junalele.livejournal.com]

I knew that would make you happy. :) You just gotta love google.

Although ours did look a bit different. More round at the etches or something...