silly plumbing ficlet

[lobelia321]

sheldrake said the words 'Dan Penteado', gave me pairing and characterisation, and off I went on a wild rampage. This is my second ficlet of Cristiano Ronaldo/Dan Panteado (who, apparently, is a Portuguese sidekick in the TV show Rogue Traders). *gg*



Once the stench had become quite unbearable and the urine was beginning to ooze from the Carrera marble of the bathroom into the shagpile of the hall, Cristiano Ronaldo decided it was time to do something about it. So he called the Plumbing Police.

Plumbing Police Officer Dan Penteado arrived, in his black leather jacket and knee high boots with buckles on the side. Chewing a toothpick and making affable noises in his throat, he inspected the calamity with monosyllabic calm. Cristiano could see how the boots were coming in handy. He himself dared go nowhere near the toilet, wearing, as he was, nothing but plush slippers on his bare feet.

Also, he was still in his bathrobe. It being so early and all.

Dan Penteado hummed and hawed, and after a few moments of this humming and hawing, Cristiano discerned a certain familiarity, in particular about the hawing. This was very Portuguese-sounding hawing. This was the kind of hawing his dad used to do.

At the thought of his dad, Cristiano's eyes welled up.

"Listen, mate," said the Plumbing Police Officer, "you must sue this bastard. We will trick him."

"What?" said Cristiano, surreptitiously dabbing his tear ducts with the end of his bathrobe belt.

"We'll install a CCTV camera," said Dan Penteado. "Up there."

"Okay," said Cristiano, dabbing some more at his face.

"And then you call this plumber again," said Dan Penteado. "We film him. We nab him."

"Nab?" said Cristiano, gave a final tug at his belt and stood helplessly as his bathrobe fell open and revealed his naked self to the stranger in black leather.

"Jesus," said Dan Penteado. "I said 'nab', not 'nob'."

"Are you Portuguese?" blurted out Cristiano. "Do you want to see my album of postcards from Porto?"




Um. *bursts out laughing* ETA: Dialogue ficlettino here.

Comments

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

*giggles till dead*

My fave new fandom!!!!!!!!11