hoist with my own petard

[lobelia321]

Good heavens.

petard, noun. M16.
Hist. 1 A small bomb made of a metal or wooden box filled with powder, used to blow in a door etc. or to make a hole in a wall.
2 A kind of firework that explodes with a sharp report.

hoise, verb, obsolete. pple hoised, hoist. L15. [...]
3 verb trans. Lift and move; remove.
4 verb trans. Raise in degree, quality or price.

Phrases (of pa. pple): hoist with one's own petard [after Shakes. Haml.] blown up by one's own bomb, ruined by one's own devices against others.

Also: Opening one's LJ to find that 45 people (sic!) have replied to one's post about the etiquette of replying to feedback, and now one is obliged to reply to all of those 45 repliers. Ack. Metafandommed!

:-)

Also, I bet you did not know that the verb in the phrase hoist with one's own petard derives from the past participle of that well-known verb to hoise. I, for one, always staunchly believed the hoist to derive from to hoist, and even typed in hoisted by my own petard in the subject line above until learning better by my lovely trusted Concise Oxford.

Thank you, all you voluble LJers for responding so copiously to said post. I will reply! Anon!! Although a comment is not, technically speaking, a feedback so my own strict feedback-replying-etiquette doesn't, strictly speaking, apply. But let us not speak so strictly!



Because, what with the short days and the painful back (now in its third week!), the Black Dog has made a come-back. I haven't seen him around for months but now he's back and making me Depressed. I feel debilitated and dispirited; this morning woke up with back pain and burst into tears in the kitchen when I couldn't bend to pick up the coffee pot. I feel despondent and worthless vis-à-vis my career life. While t'h soars on to ever increasing public success with his new book (voted History Book of the Year by three national periodicals so far, plus he's being courted by Stanford University in California), I seem to be good only for making up lunch bags and assembling t'sons' sports kits for schools. My book is not finished; yesterday I spent almost the whole day re-arranging my Delicious bookmarks in response to minervacat's Howto post (linked by isiscolo, and this was solely done in order to escape the fear of having to write my book. Yes, I live in fear of failure, and so I fail.

*hobbles off to sink into gloom and the coma of ibuprofen*

Comments

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry about that pesky black dog - he will keep jumping back over the fence and trampling about in our flower beds and so on. Um... possibly stretched that metaphor too far.

Anyway, I feel obliged to remind you of the insidious power of depression to make the future seem completely bleak and impossible, even when this actually isn't the case. Remember that post just recently in which I whimpered about throwing in the towel? Well, I'm no longer feeling like that, which just goes to show... something.

Life does seem more than usually fraught with crap at the moment, though, doesn't it? I blame the government.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Darling, this is such a helpful comment. I only read it 1/2 an hour ago but I've thought about it on and off, and although I again just did at least 20 minutes of Del.icio.us re-arranging (until Yahoo literally kicked me out by showing error messages), I do feel a tiny bit better. Knowing that things will get better or just sort of rather go away.

But the serial murderer of horror!!! I am not used to seeing such things on Look East. Normally it's 'Pekinese stung by bees' or 'Home infested with ants' (these are both real-life news that I remember from Look East!!). I'd never thought I'd be nostalgic for the bees.

I blame the government.
This actually managed to amuse me. And these days I'm not allowed to laugh because it makes my back hurt.

[ithiliana.livejournal.com]

in haste...so I can feel *good* that I was too busy to reply to great post on feedback because you don't have to feedback my feedback YAY!

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

:-) How great, that my own hesitation at responding has absolved you from guilt on your own hesitation. *g*

We are being exhorted to 'deliver e-learning' and 'blended learning', btw. I may contact you yet again about all this. My institution wants us to use Web-CT. I hate it. Have you used that one?

[junalele.livejournal.com]

I didn't even know of the existence of the word 'hoist' so I never even thought about it form in past tense but still - learned something again.

*kicks Black Dog since it seems like the thing to do*

I know about doing something - well, anything else but the work you should do. When I start cleaning the flat instead of working at some paper I know that something is really wrong. But in my admittedly limited experience you just have to pull through. The hard part is done anyway. You wrote the damn thing down. Okay, now you need to revise but still. That's a piece of cake compared to first filling the blank pages!
But I know that's easier said than done. I may know a few things about hoisting with one's own petard. Like I should really, really talk to that prof again who wanted to 'introduce' me to a really important guy in folklore studies. She wanted to sent him an email telling him about me and then give me his email so I could contact him. She never did. And I so should ask her again because deadlines for scholarships are in spring and I still haven't decided on a topic let alone began searching for a supervisor. And I just sit here doing nothing. Well, I did bake a lot of cookies in the past week or two... *sigh*

*kicks fear of failure, too* *hard*

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Thanks for your kind words. Oh, and how I would love to eat your biscuits. I bet they're all kinds of wonderful Weihnachtsplaetzchen... Yum. I will think about what you say and re-read in moments of gloom. Also, yay for Mongolia and the yurts.

[junalele.livejournal.com]

*gets Kaká and Cristianochen to kick the Black Dog since they have way more power* Take that!

Also, yay for Mongolia and the yurts.
:)

For more - see email. :D

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Oh gosh, email? I'm glad you told me because um, email? What is that again?

P.S. I feel a bit better today!

[junalele.livejournal.com]

That's good! Hopefully it'll be a relatively short affair then. Yep!

[blithesea.livejournal.com]

I absolve you from replying to my comment, at least. So you only have 44 left. :-*

Hope you feel better soon. Kick that black dog in the nads. You are teh brill.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Okay, I feel absolved! *g* But I may reply, anyway, just not for a while... :-)

Thank you for calling me teh brill. It's the teh that somehow makes me feel a tiny bit better. :-)

[moth2fic.livejournal.com]

You can be absolved from mine, too. I thought it was a poll and I don't expect replies to polls....it would be as if Tony Blair/David Cameron/Whoever emailed me to thank me for voting in the council elections.....

[bunnysquee.livejournal.com]

the word 'hoist' always brings to mind firemen throwing people over their shoulders and carrying them to safety. i didn't know of the existence of the word, 'hoise.'

that's terrible about your back pain lasting 3 weeks - are you seeing a chiropractor? masseuse? acupuncturist? something?

congratulations on the h's success? does that financially relieve you of having to work?

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

I am with an ostepath who massages and manipulates me every week, and again in 2 weeks' time. The G.P. suggested ibuprofen; in my experience, the general practitioners are pretty clueless but medication is okay, too. I suspect it's a long-term thing to fix but dispiriting while it lasts.

Well, we rely on my income and also, I think I would die of depression if I were unemployed. Unless I die of depression because my current employment is such crap.

Thank you for your kind words!

[sonicbookmark.livejournal.com]

I'm going to work that phrase into a sentence somehow, I swear.

*hugs you hard*
Don't let that black dog bite you in the ass!

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

I am feeling a bit better today, thank you! I think the ass turned around (whispering to the oxen 'Hang on in there, buddy, I'll be right back') and gave that black dog a good seeing-to. *g*

omg, I just wrote ox-and-ass slash.

[sonicbookmark.livejournal.com]

omg, I just wrote ox-and-ass slash.

*runs for the hills*

[andolinn.livejournal.com]

Hmmmm... Yes, somehow I didn't think you were going to be overjoyed by the sheer volume of replies you received. However, since I sent some of them over there... *whistles innocently* And I DO NOT need a reply. I believe health issues came under my 'extenuating circumstances'.

I'm sorry your back is giving you such trouble. If it makes you feel any better at all, your saga has helped me. I always put heat on my back, but I thought about you yesterday when I picked up a freezable gel pack for it. *sends healing vibes your way*

I'm sorry about the depression. Darkness, holidays, feeling trapped and pain are clearly conducive to such. However, you don't know how things are going to turn out. Careerwise etc. Such things can only truly be seen in retrospect. It may be that there is a great karmic reason why your book is not finished. But I wish you luck - depression is tough.

But Palo Alto is a nice place. Much, much, much better weather. And there are a number of Universities in the area where you could teach as well. But it's expensive here, so if hubby is serious, get a housing reimbursement/stipend of some sort.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

T'h has not even been offered a job so it's all highly speculative. Also, we would never go if we didn't get housing subsidies and they didn't give me a spouse-deal job. I am in two minds about it.

The depression was not caused by the volume of comments!! I was just a bit flabberghasted. And this time round they were all nice; I've been metafandommed before and left traumatised by the nastiness of some replies. But I think I've successfully banned all nasty people from my LJ now, *g*.

Thank you for your kind words.

[andolinn.livejournal.com]

I didn't think the depression was over the volume of comments and I actually found them quite fascinating.

I'm thinking perhaps weather and dark aren't helping at all though. If hubby does get an offer, at least fly out here. I'll take you around. It's a lovely area. Challenging in some ways, but where isn't?

[laduchesse.livejournal.com]

i had missed the linked post and now will proceed to read it...

and i think you are a lovely writer and please don't let life get you down. keep writing!!!

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Thank you, sweetie. You are very kind. :-)

[freyafloyd.livejournal.com]

In reply to your post of many months ago, fota is at:
http://www.negative-ions.net/fota/index.html

I think there is an epsiode or two missing from the end. Not sure why, either Laz thought it was too bad to update or she could not be arsed.

I have been considering writing a new fic, but I am full of intentions that come to nothing. It would be (timewarp coming up)... bhd boys in cowboy trailer park slash. Eric Bana/Jude Law (who was only in BHD in a symbolic sense, I realise), Jason/Josh/Ewan/Orlando. I mean, times have changed, but I've plotted it now, and made up the dialogue, and the characters.

How are you, anyway?

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Jude Law in BHD in a symbolic sense...!! Yes, he so was! Have you been following his career, btw? In all those recent British films? I loved I heart Huckleberry and also Closer but didn't like the one about the break-in but ah, Jude.

I've been not so fabulous recently. Job = crap. Back = in pain. Me = a bit depressed but feeling a bit better today.

*glomps you* And you? What have you been up to while off-line?????????

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Oh, and I did end up finding FOTA, after some judicious googling and lazlet Memory-searching. So it's up now on my del.icio.us rec site. *g*

[freyafloyd.livejournal.com]

I watched the first two, but not the brea in, although I do want to see it. I have seen snippets of his love life, and he does now seen sleazy and vile. I'll be writing him as younger anyway, if I write.

As to what I've been up to, I'll tell you in email. Which email address should I use?

Slashy bit that I read. In one of the Viking raids on Britain, according to the saga, the chief viking took out two long boats. He was worried about the safety of his poet, so he turned one of the boats back to save him. The chief carried on with the other boat, and as a consequence he was outnumbered in battle and all his men died.