![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lobelia321I finally look at my Flist after ten days offline and the first comment I see tells me that ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
thamiris has died. She first posted about her cancer last autumn and then disappeared off-line for many months. I had already feared the worst but then she miraculously reappeared a few weeks ago and I was so happy! But now it seems she has died. The strange on-line thing is that I learn this from people's comments; I don't know where the original post is or whether anyone has more detailed news. It is very strange to have an LJ friend die: there is no funeral to go to; I wouldn't even know whom to send flowers to.
I am very, very sad. I loved reading Thamiris's posts. She was such an essential and life-affirming and kind presence on my Flist. I will miss her terribly. I already missed her terribly during her long absence and am so very sad that her icon and her baroque prose and her luscious, sexually bold stories will simply be gone from my every day. She was a generous and thoughtful person, embraced life and fandom and with a rich understanding of sexuality that spilled over into a lustful gusty love of words. She always had such interesting ideas and I never heard her utter one unkind word or wanky thing. She was very respectful of others' views.
She was an academic on the west coast of Canada, and she loved mediaeval English literature and managed in truly uplifting ways to connect this to her lust for Smallville. It was she who introduced me to the world of vibrators by means of her hilarious Ode to the Vibrator. She wrote a gorgeous Harry Potter fic called Lies in the Rookery which gives you a taste of her attention to words and her sensual love of language. Her kindness comes through in her fannish guide for newbies. She loved fandom in all its manifestations, and her every post got 70 plus comments because she was just so lovely and beloved.
I will miss her terribly. An online death is a very strange thing, and we are the first generation to have to learn to deal with it, and with the memorial of a dead person remaining in form of their very vibrant and alive LiveJournal. It is so strange, but as others have said, an online death is no less sad and an online friendship no less real than an offline friendship. It works on different levels, and sometimes on deeper levels.
I don't remember now how I first met Thamiris. It was in late 2002. We didn't have many Friends in common and she was mainly a Smallville of which I know primarily through her. So I don't have a lot of people to commiserate with.
I miss you, dearest, sweetestthamiris. I loved having you in my life and I'm grateful that I knew you, for a while.
thamiris has died. She first posted about her cancer last autumn and then disappeared off-line for many months. I had already feared the worst but then she miraculously reappeared a few weeks ago and I was so happy! But now it seems she has died. The strange on-line thing is that I learn this from people's comments; I don't know where the original post is or whether anyone has more detailed news. It is very strange to have an LJ friend die: there is no funeral to go to; I wouldn't even know whom to send flowers to.I am very, very sad. I loved reading Thamiris's posts. She was such an essential and life-affirming and kind presence on my Flist. I will miss her terribly. I already missed her terribly during her long absence and am so very sad that her icon and her baroque prose and her luscious, sexually bold stories will simply be gone from my every day. She was a generous and thoughtful person, embraced life and fandom and with a rich understanding of sexuality that spilled over into a lustful gusty love of words. She always had such interesting ideas and I never heard her utter one unkind word or wanky thing. She was very respectful of others' views.
She was an academic on the west coast of Canada, and she loved mediaeval English literature and managed in truly uplifting ways to connect this to her lust for Smallville. It was she who introduced me to the world of vibrators by means of her hilarious Ode to the Vibrator. She wrote a gorgeous Harry Potter fic called Lies in the Rookery which gives you a taste of her attention to words and her sensual love of language. Her kindness comes through in her fannish guide for newbies. She loved fandom in all its manifestations, and her every post got 70 plus comments because she was just so lovely and beloved.
I will miss her terribly. An online death is a very strange thing, and we are the first generation to have to learn to deal with it, and with the memorial of a dead person remaining in form of their very vibrant and alive LiveJournal. It is so strange, but as others have said, an online death is no less sad and an online friendship no less real than an offline friendship. It works on different levels, and sometimes on deeper levels.
I don't remember now how I first met Thamiris. It was in late 2002. We didn't have many Friends in common and she was mainly a Smallville of which I know primarily through her. So I don't have a lot of people to commiserate with.
I miss you, dearest, sweetest
thamiris. I loved having you in my life and I'm grateful that I knew you, for a while.![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-12 07:29 pm (UTC)*hugs*
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-12 07:32 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-12 07:44 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-12 09:00 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-12 09:13 pm (UTC)Not actually someone I know, but the one I was going to link to was locked. Hope it helps - there's something horribly jarring and confusing about finding out about a death on LJ.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-12 09:33 pm (UTC)There's a lot of posts about her. She touched a lot of lives.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-12 07:54 pm (UTC)I remember hearing that Livejournal will protect journals of people who have died, but I'm not entirely certain if these rules have changed since LJ is under new ownership. I've seen some family members delete LJs (which I think is a terrible thing to do -- it's like erasing someone's words and thoughts).
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-12 10:39 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-12 08:59 pm (UTC)OH HELL!
That woman made such a difference to the way I wrote -- not only about sex but about a lot of things. I adored the way she could be erudite and clever and witty about the most peculiar setups. The way she could write kink that Wasn't My Thing but was somehow suddenly the hottest thing ever.
OMG1!!!!!eleventyone!!1!
Online deaths are a very strange thing. I hope her site and her LJ stay up. [insert witty Priapic allusion here]. Online life is a peculiar solipsism: it's easy to assume that everyone's alive and well all the while that one isn't looking at them.
She loved words and I loved what she did with them. And I'm very upset to discover that she won't be doing it any more.
I am going to read her writing now. And she will make me laugh, despite the situation.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-12 10:41 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-12 11:15 pm (UTC)I'm doing it now. It's all still there. That seems so strange to me, that someone could come along and read her LJ, her site, and not know that the story's ended and the book's closed.
Someone I knew in RL (from before they had an LJ) died a while ago. It was very different to this. All we had was her words and her online personality. There's nothing else to look at, and it's all still there. Except the bit that mattered, the 'to be continued'.