les pillules

[lobelia321]

Two things about these pills (sertraline):

They make me lose all sexual desire. Libido = 0.

They make me sort of serene. The flip side is that they make me not care much about anything. Departmental meeting at horror institution? Not bothered. T'h going away to Madrid for a week? Who cares? (T'h cared!)

The G.P. today said they can make you feel 'numb'. I'm not sure I feel numb, exactly. I feel robust in the centre of myself, as if nothing can upset me. But then, sometimes it might be good to be upset? And maybe that's related to the libido: desire has to do with lack and with wanting something, with a need to be filled. If I don't really care one way or the other, then I'm not really yearning in any way.

I am, however, very productive. I've been speeding ahead on my academic-book revisions.

*waves from the land of lotus eaters, Stepford wives and, in the words of viva_gloria: happy zombies*