FICLET: Dopplering (SGA) John/John

[lobelia321]

Title: Dopplering
Author: Lobelia; lobelia321
Fandom: SGA
Pairing: John Sheppard / John Sheppard
Spoilers: 4.04. Doppelgänger.
Rating: PG-13.
Summary: What's it like to kiss yourself?





Dopplering
by Lobelia

So this was his double.

He met him. He looked at him.

It was not like a mirror. It was not reversed. It was real.

There was a smell. It was a real smell. It was the smell of family.

There was a weight. Droplets of sweat collected in the groove above his upper lip. One fell. His sweat fell from him onto him.

His own self spoke, and that was the strangest thing of all. It did not sound like a recording. It did not sound like his voice inside his own head.

It sounded external. It sounded very, very frightening.

It did not sound like family.

His heart raced. And his other heart raced, pressed against his self's heart; two hearts beating in unison.

"I'm not afraid of you," he snarled.

"Fuck you," he replied.

Their chests were pressed together. Their legs were pressed together. Their strength was equal. Their anger was equal.

John kissed his own lips.

John drew his tongue against his own.

The back of his head hit the metal floor. His hand flailed, fluttered, came to alight on air; did not touch.

His other lips drew away but he kept his mouth open and his tongue extended, and then they came back.

The lips came back. They did not feel like his own lips. They felt frightening.

They felt hot.

"Don't," he murmured.

"I won't," he muttered.

"Don't leave me," he murmured.

"I can't," he...

"Oh no, you won't." McKay.

Their heads turned in unison.

"Get off him!" yelled McKay.

Their bodies turned in unison.

"Which one are you? Which one's the real you?"

"The real me?" Their voices spoke in unison.

"The good you? The good you!" McKay's yell rose to a shriek.

Then he was quelled. McKay's body slumped to the ground.

"Good," he said.

"Yeah, good," he said.

A fire flickered in the other's eyes. But it was only the reflection of his own pupils.

---

The End
355 words
Posted 7 Feb. 2008.

Comments

[comanche-rider.livejournal.com]

He he. Really, I don't see why we're not swamped with this pairing. It's made of awesome. I've only seen like two other stories that were John/John.

Great job, though the end is a little puzzling. I didn't really get it, though my brain might just be a little muddled from hotness overload. Is McKay unconscious, or what? Sorry if it's really obvious and I'm just missing it. XD

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Ooh, where are these other John/John stories?

Sorry about the end. I'm on a roll here and after over a year of depression and anti-depressant-induced stupor, I'm finally writing fic again and had to finish the above because I was overcome by another plot bunny and had to write more fic! This is my drawback entirely, writing this little fic, unbetaed and all. I did want to experiment a little with syntax so when I re-read and saw the choppy phrases at the end I realised it was a bit obscure but left it in because it's very short and based on ellipses. I first wrote that McKay is actually dead, and that they killed him but then that seemed too much for a short ficlet to take and I'd have had to put character death as a warning in the Header which would have made the whole thing seem too serious so I changed it to 'slumped'. And no, it's not obvious and you're not missing it! :-)

Thank you so very kindly for your nice feedback. I am chuffed to bits that you found hotness here. I took one look at that scene (which I saw for the first time today) and nearly imploded.

Ha. I may write more of this pairing now!

[comanche-rider.livejournal.com]

Well, there's Like A Clockwork Orange (http://community.livejournal.com/sga_flashfic/639218.html#cutid1), which is NC-17, non-con, and deathfic. The middle and latter, I'm not too fond of, but I take what I can get. XD

I know there's another, but it was comment fic somewhere and I lost it in my bookmarks. *head desk*

[a-celtic-pirate.livejournal.com]

http://telesilla.livejournal.com/602013.html

is that the one?

[comanche-rider.livejournal.com]

Yes! That's it. Thank you. *goes to reread it* ^^

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Ah, thank you!! *goes off to bookmark*

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

Heh. He didn't need McKay anyway - he has himself! Very cool.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

*laughs* You are so very kind, my dear. You know, these are my first little efforts in over a year; depression and anti-depressants just drove the fic lust right out of me, and now the plot bunnies are tumbling over each other in their haste. Today, I saw that episode and that scene and my mind went 'whoa, wow, whoa'. The scene has tremendous Sheppard/McKay potential, too, I can see that but the image of the two Johns lying on top of each other... sizzling.

[a-celtic-pirate.livejournal.com]

mmmmmm....John/John. Some of my favorite fic, even if it is really hard to come by. I thought there would've been a huge explosion of it after Doppleganger aired, but alas not so. So I am happy when I find one. Which, by the way, yours is awesome. My brain may have melted a bit. ^_^

http://telesilla.livejournal.com/602013.html is another John/John fic with also John/Rodney/John

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Very interesting, as I only saw this ep the other day and have been out of the loop for many a month. Thank you so much for your kind feedback, and thank you for the link to the other John/John story!!

:-)

*raises your pirate by 12*

[rinsbane.livejournal.com]

ok, this is going to sound completely crazy. As in I've left crazy comments for people, but this really is loco because I'm not thinking you were thinking this at all. But I read this, and within a line I was thinking the style reminded me of something and it continued to do so until I realized that it reminded me of the gospel of John 1:1 (KJV). I know. I had to look it up to see what it was because that gospel gets read every year at Easter so I have it in my head, but I've never read it myself.

It's the style, the short lines, the repetition that builds on itself. "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." If you made periods out of the comments -

He met him. He looked at him.

It was not like a mirror. It was not reversed. It was real.

There was a smell. It was a real smell. It was the smell of family.

Anyway, regardless of that, I like it. I like the style because your building repetition is a verbal mirror of the story itself, where John is mirroring himself. Besides, I have a thing for self/self. Spend long enough in the Potter fandom, and all things become normal. I wish there were more in SGA. But this is grand.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Wow. I am in awe of your feedback. My prose had (to date) never been compared to the New Testament before! But I will tell you what went through my head. I was not consciously modelling it on St John. But I did consciously go for a clipped short style. My natural tendency is for looping sentences and meandering thought so a few years ago I put myself through this regime of writing very concise sentences, no subsidiary clauses, and I thought that it would be helpful to revive this, given that I was writing something very short and also wanted some sort of discipline for my prose, as this was going to be an off-the-cuff straight-into-LJ type of fic in other respects. And then the repetition sort of happened because it was a way to get rhythm into the sentences despite their clippedness.

I am quite amazed that you found a mirror motif there because that was not conscious. And this is why I love writing and why I love feedback, because the stories go out and do their own thing, and as a writer you never quite know what they're going to do out there until you hear back from people.

And Harry Potter, eh? I have had an opus of thousands and thousands of words in length on my hard drive and in bulging ring binder for about 3 years now... Harry/Draco/Dudley. *sighs*

Any self/self in HP wot u know of??

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

Cool! I like the whole 'family' thing and the stuff about the voices. V. creepy. It's interesting, I'm quite fascinated by actual self/self fics (not that I can think of any others offhand) although I tend to avoid fic that pairs two characters played by the same actor. Not sure why.

I have on my hard drive quite a lot of an Orlando/Orlando fic, but I never finished it, sadly.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Ooh, you read this! But 'family' thing? Where was the family thing? *is interested* I didn't know you were fascinated by self/self fics; I'm not sure I've ever read one (bizarrely; you'd think I would have). And fic with two characters played by same actor: would that be Legolas/Will Turner or somesuch?

Ooh. Orli/Orli.

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

It was the smell of family.

That bit there, where you wrote the word 'family'. ;) Heheh.

Now I come to think of it, I'm mainly fascinated by my own self/self fic, and this one... because I'm not sure I've ever read any others either. Ha!

would that be Legolas/Will Turner or somesuch?

That sort of thing, yes - I've seen quite a lot of David Hewlett characters slashed with each other.

I've got a vague idea I might finish the Orli/Orli now, after reading this and watching the BAFTAs. Hmmm.... :)

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Orli/Orli? Yes. Yesyes. That is practically canon. (I'm not sure why he seems the one most likely to shag his own double and angst over it to boot but he is, he so is!)

David Hewlett characters?? *is slightly grossed out, as the Americans might say*