Interim review of: Very long HP fic

[lobelia321]

I am reading a long, chaptered Harry Potter fic by someone called j_k_rowling. The fic is called Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I've not finished it yet but here are some interim notes.

Canon
The fic is very close to film canon. At times, it almost feels like a transferral from film to fic with extra names taken from fandom thrown in at random. Indeed, there is some cross-over as well (e.g. Abraxas from Die kleine Hexe who here appears not as a raven but as a wizard).

Characterisation
Very OOC, especially regarding Draco Malfoy. He only appears now and again but is not treated in a sustained or complex fashion. He is cardboard cut-out and not very nuanced. Mostly, he seems mean and spiteful; very odd: there is very little angst, no passionate loyalty; indeed, no passion; no UST; and, most oddly of all, no descriptions of his droolsome beauty. All that the author says is that he is pointy-faced and has grey eyes and white-blond hair (well, duh), and half of that is not even film!canon.

Characterisation on the whole leaves much to be desired. Who was the beta for this thing?? The characters hop all over the shop: one minute they're angsting about mortal perils, the next they're annoyed because they're not getting enough house points. Also, the endless dialogues, going over and over the same topics, don't do anything to a) further character or b) further sexual deliciousness.

Magic
The author is quite good at inventing magic spells and devices although a lot of this is taken straight from fanon. Still, she mixes in some clever details. I would say this is the strength of this fic.

Format
Very bizarre. Not posted to comm, blog or AO3 but pre-bound as a print-out with someone's fanart on the cover (a pic by jason_cockcroft -- could this be a MAN?). The pic shows Harry/Dumbledore which would imply that these two are the pairing of the fic but it's taking the author a long time to work up to this, and the UST is too subtle to be noticed. So far. Although the fanart does show each of them clasping a red-tinged tumescent phallus so I live in hope of a little NC-17.
Link to the fanart: Here.

Verdict
I'll keep you posted on my progress through this very long fic (no word count given but I'm estimating 170,000 words (!!!). There is no Header so one is left guessing as to pairing, rating, or warnings (character death? twincest? buggery with a senior citizen? Who knows -- and this may well cause much rant and wank as it could be mega-triggery!). However, the fic was written for someone: To Mackenzie, my beautiful daughter. I wonder was this for a yuletide or prompt fest...?

Comments

[vasiliki.livejournal.com]

there is some cross-over as well (e.g. Abraxas

XD

Characterisation on the whole leaves much to be desired. Who was the beta for this thing?? The characters hop all over the shop

It was like pulling teeth!!! Not only fanfic, but also bad fanfic!

Although the fanart does show each of them clasping a red-tinged tumescent phallus

ROTFLOL!!!

no word count given but I'm estimating 170,000 words

It can't be so short... I'm trying to read a 410,000 words H/D fic now and there's no way it's more than double the length of HBP.

buggery with a senior citizen?

The phallus in the fanart hints to this, but perhaps that's just a way for the fanfic writer to attract more readers!

This entry goes to my memories! You should write H/D humour fic! :D

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Would you like to count the words of this thing? *smiles sweetly* You are reading 410,000 words of fic... *feels faint* H/D humour fic! You mean Harry/Dumbledore, right...?? Oh, yes, *rubs hands*. After all, I've written Dom/oldsters and Karl/oldsters and Darth Saruman, he was the oldest I've slashed. Hm, must find Dumbledore slash. I'm sure there's a niche fandom! There's a niche everything in HP!

I was quite happy about the Abraxas, though... *g*

[raincitygirl.livejournal.com]

snickering madly here

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Glad of it, hon. Glad of it. *hops on broom and swerves off*

[msilverstar]

Got me laughing out loud!

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Loud laughter is always good! *hugs*

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

Hee! (PS: character death. And OMG the wank.)

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

*momentarily distracted by your icon but so happy that you are reading LJ (as well as DW which I've still not got to grips with; stared at it for a despairing 10 minutes last night...*

The wank! Expect monumental wank!!

[cordelia_v]

*picks herself off the floor*

This is one of the funniest things I've read all year. Thank you.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

And the year is yet young! So things can only get even better...!! *swallows polyjuice potion and re-emerges, metamorphically, as arthropod*

[eyebrowofdoom.livejournal.com]

Ahahahaha.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

*stares at icon* Who's that when he's buried in someone's arse...?

Um.

[magnetic-pole.livejournal.com]

This is not only funny but profound. The devastating faint praise: Still, she mixes in some clever details. I would say this is the strength of this fic. Well done! M. (here via cordelia_v)

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Profound! I am delightedly flattered! Yes, fandom is nothing if not that. *nods sagely before confunding self into bole of dust*

[trickofthedark.livejournal.com]

*applause* Yep. You've nailed it.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Yes! Nail! Head!

Head! Giving!

Um. *apparates away*

[catsintheattic.livejournal.com]

Fantastic! (here via cordelia_v)

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Cute icon! Is it a counter-lolz-manifesto...???

Thanks, hon!

[birdgerhl.livejournal.com]

it sounds like a steaming pile of donkeyshit to me. and who calls their child mackenzie? eurffphh.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Bwuahahahah. *cackles mightily* You know, I'm reading it solely for research purposes? T'sons were shocked; they've been too indoctrinated by me. Also, I'm procrastinating because I've got David Mitchell's new book and I'm circling it like a cat on heat and in awe.

Actually, reading this as fanfic almost works for me. Hah.

If I had more children, I should call them Connery, Macduff and Bravehart! (Note devious spelling of t'latter.)

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

Haha. u r funy. :D

(Sorry about this comment, every time I go to work I lose some braincells).

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Better funy than puny, I say.

You're at work? 'tis the Holy Day of Rest! Oh well, I guess I marked 32 essays today... Just looked at your Eurofest!!

[junalele.livejournal.com]

Yes. Yes. She reminds me a bit of that other fanfic writer, Anne Rice, who also falls sadly short of film!canon. I have no idea why those even try. Might be those clever details. ;P

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Aha, Anne Rice! Well, let them try; let a thousand fannish flowers bloom, I say. *g*

[carolinelamb.livejournal.com]

here via cordelia_v

very funny!

one minute they're angsting about mortal perils, the next they're annoyed because they're not getting enough house points

lovely!

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Indeed! It makes me feel a bit like your (very impressive, btw) icon...! *g*

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

*claps*

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Ooh, a wank!icon already! *claps back* This could cause major kerfuffle... She is clearly, from what I can gather, a mega-BNF of sorts.