Is Orli clever?
Mar. 16th, 2003 05:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lobelia321Written for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
zarah5, for having started a wonderful discussion (and for caring!), and for eyebrowofdoom and badgermonkey for their scepticism.
(Typed straight into LJ with no literary pretensions whatsoever.)
-----
"Steve. You know Orli?"
"Yeah. Everyone knows Orli, Jed."
"Do you think he's clever?"
"Clever? Why, what do you think, Jed?"
"Well, yes. I think he's absolutely phenomenal. We were doing this quiz the other night, you know, one of those British pub thingies, and he got absolutely every single answer right."
"Yeah, that quiz was rigged."
"No, it wasn't."
"Look, Jed, I'll tell you about it a bit later but it was."
"But Steve, it's not only the quiz. I was sitting reading the paper the other day, in between takes, when we were doing the chase scenes, and he could tell me something intelligent about every single bloody headline. Even the local New Zealand ones. He *knows* stuff, Steve!"
"Well, yeah, that may be."
"Anyway, you haven't answered my question. Do *you* think he's clever?"
"No, Jed, I don't."
"Oh. Why not?"
"I think he's a pretty bit of flesh with a lovely mop of curls on him - yep, I remember that hair before it was shaved off - but he's as vacant as a vacant lot and as vacuous as a Cumberland vacuum pump."
"Well, Steve, I don't know how in all honesty you can say that..."
"Hang on, Jed."
"Yeah?"
"Why are you asking?"
"I'm just... Just interested."
"Don't you think he's pretty at all?"
"Steve, I don't happen to judge a man by his looks. Personally, I don't care what he looks like. It's not his looks we're talking about here, it's his brains. And anyway, I don't see why a guy can't be goodlooking and smart at the same time."
"Yeah, look at you, after all, Jed."
"Oh, stop it, Steve."
"So you don't think our Orlando is the least bit pretty?"
"And will you stop using that word about him? Guys aren't pretty."
"No?"
"No!"
"Not even a teensy weensy bit?"
"No! Well, no. Mostly not."
"Except Orli, right?"
"Yes. No. What are you trying to get me to admit here, Steve?"
"I, my friend, think you are rather attracted to the young man. Physically. Prettily. And you're just pretending to be fond of his brain."
"That is such utter bullshit!"
"Is it? Well, then, I'll go back to my paper. Oh, sorry, I haven't discussed the headlines with Mr Bloom yet so maybe I'm not even qualified to read it. Still, if I skip the actual headlines and just read the substance of the articles..."
"Oh, stop it, Steve."
"Look, there he is, Jed. Go on. Go on over and have an intellectual conversation."
"Oh, do stop it."
"You're cute when you blush."
"Men can't be cute."
"Oh, sure..."
"And stop leering. God, now he's coming over."
"He likes you, Jed."
"Shut up, will you."
"Hi, guys."
"Hello, Orli."
"How are the orc stunts coming along? I think you guys are so cool, by the way."
"Fine. Here, do you want a read of my paper? It's very highbrow."
"Stop it, Steve. So, Orli, um, you doing anything later on?"
"Nah, man. Just hanging out."
"You want to, um, perhaps go for a beer or something?"
"Why aren't you taking him to a literary reading, Jed? Or a physics lecture at the university?"
"Don't listen to him, Orli."
"What?"
"I said: Beer?"
"Oh, yeah, cool."
"And my place after?"
"Great, man, that's like, yeah."
"Yes, Jed, *very* intellectual..."
"You're just jealous, Steve."
The End.
zarah5, for having started a wonderful discussion (and for caring!), and for eyebrowofdoom and badgermonkey for their scepticism.(Typed straight into LJ with no literary pretensions whatsoever.)
-----
"Steve. You know Orli?"
"Yeah. Everyone knows Orli, Jed."
"Do you think he's clever?"
"Clever? Why, what do you think, Jed?"
"Well, yes. I think he's absolutely phenomenal. We were doing this quiz the other night, you know, one of those British pub thingies, and he got absolutely every single answer right."
"Yeah, that quiz was rigged."
"No, it wasn't."
"Look, Jed, I'll tell you about it a bit later but it was."
"But Steve, it's not only the quiz. I was sitting reading the paper the other day, in between takes, when we were doing the chase scenes, and he could tell me something intelligent about every single bloody headline. Even the local New Zealand ones. He *knows* stuff, Steve!"
"Well, yeah, that may be."
"Anyway, you haven't answered my question. Do *you* think he's clever?"
"No, Jed, I don't."
"Oh. Why not?"
"I think he's a pretty bit of flesh with a lovely mop of curls on him - yep, I remember that hair before it was shaved off - but he's as vacant as a vacant lot and as vacuous as a Cumberland vacuum pump."
"Well, Steve, I don't know how in all honesty you can say that..."
"Hang on, Jed."
"Yeah?"
"Why are you asking?"
"I'm just... Just interested."
"Don't you think he's pretty at all?"
"Steve, I don't happen to judge a man by his looks. Personally, I don't care what he looks like. It's not his looks we're talking about here, it's his brains. And anyway, I don't see why a guy can't be goodlooking and smart at the same time."
"Yeah, look at you, after all, Jed."
"Oh, stop it, Steve."
"So you don't think our Orlando is the least bit pretty?"
"And will you stop using that word about him? Guys aren't pretty."
"No?"
"No!"
"Not even a teensy weensy bit?"
"No! Well, no. Mostly not."
"Except Orli, right?"
"Yes. No. What are you trying to get me to admit here, Steve?"
"I, my friend, think you are rather attracted to the young man. Physically. Prettily. And you're just pretending to be fond of his brain."
"That is such utter bullshit!"
"Is it? Well, then, I'll go back to my paper. Oh, sorry, I haven't discussed the headlines with Mr Bloom yet so maybe I'm not even qualified to read it. Still, if I skip the actual headlines and just read the substance of the articles..."
"Oh, stop it, Steve."
"Look, there he is, Jed. Go on. Go on over and have an intellectual conversation."
"Oh, do stop it."
"You're cute when you blush."
"Men can't be cute."
"Oh, sure..."
"And stop leering. God, now he's coming over."
"He likes you, Jed."
"Shut up, will you."
"Hi, guys."
"Hello, Orli."
"How are the orc stunts coming along? I think you guys are so cool, by the way."
"Fine. Here, do you want a read of my paper? It's very highbrow."
"Stop it, Steve. So, Orli, um, you doing anything later on?"
"Nah, man. Just hanging out."
"You want to, um, perhaps go for a beer or something?"
"Why aren't you taking him to a literary reading, Jed? Or a physics lecture at the university?"
"Don't listen to him, Orli."
"What?"
"I said: Beer?"
"Oh, yeah, cool."
"And my place after?"
"Great, man, that's like, yeah."
"Yes, Jed, *very* intellectual..."
"You're just jealous, Steve."
The End.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2003-03-16 09:24 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-03-16 10:58 am (UTC):spits hot cross bun crumbs all over my monitor:
You are *evil*! That and the pub quizzes...
Anyhow, I still don't think he's clever. Or pretty. I am so non-intellectually biased against him that I couldn't bring myself to comment on Zarah's post, as I knew I would type nothing but prejudiced rubbish about the poor boy.
(no subject)
Date: 2003-03-17 08:47 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-03-16 02:25 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-03-17 08:46 am (UTC)Orcli. Heehee.
A pub quiz is a strange British institution that
(no subject)
Date: 2003-03-17 09:37 am (UTC)It's not just questions being handed out on a piece of paper; no, the arts of the pub quiz are more subtle and varied than that. It is a chance for some of the greatest intellects in Britain to gather together in one place to compete in a nail-biting, deeply competitive battle of wits, stamina and knowledge of who came second in the Eurovision Song Contest in 1967. Some deride the pub quiz as testing only one's memory for useless trivia. I say, all hail the trivia. They don't hand over that prize money for nothing; you need to show that you can identify 'What's Up' by Four Non-Blondes from only the opening four bars; that you know the currency of Bulgaria; that you remember the name of the Other Osbourne daughter, and above all, that you can come up with a topical, yet amusing team name.
This is an intellectual duel of the highest calibre. And I'm not just saying that because we've won the university one *twice* :g:
Or, in other words, it's some drunken people sitting round a sticky table, listening to someone read out unintelligable and petty questions over a broken sound system and saying things like "Excuse ME, but Wham Rap came out in 1983, idiot!"