Extramarital advice, anyone?

[lobelia321]

What with spring springing and having read everyone else's ABC-meme only to discover that compared to everybody else, my sexual extravaganzas rate way down below that of semi-sentient pond life, I feel in need of an affair.

Now, all of those out there who are married or in long-term relationships and who have gallivanted about a bit: how on earth do you go about doing it?

P.S. A one-night stand will do, actually.

Comments

[eyebrowofdoom.livejournal.com]

Well, if you want my objective opinion, I think you should have an affair with mememe.

(just really really really quietly, I am on about one a decade myself...)

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

I am on about one a decade myself...

You're young. How many decades can there be? Hm, depends on when you started being active, I suppose...

And, hm, I'm sure if I were to have an adulterous affair, it would technically have to be with someone other than yourself because, hm, aren't we something or other? *snort*

[eyebrowofdoom.livejournal.com]

I was working on averages -- like when your head is in the oven and your feet in the freezer so on average, you feel great...

Darn. Let's get unengaged forthwith!

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

*rips off ring*

Er, and now what? As I say: I have no experience. Well, I do, but it's rather minimal.

[eyebrowofdoom.livejournal.com]

I think we have to rendezvous with a stork in the cabbage patch. I can bring the pitchfork...

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Stork? Cabbage?

Aaaaaack, the last thing I need is more *procreation*.

[eyebrowofdoom.livejournal.com]

Er, merely kinky theme props. Since you are the ingenue, here, you must learn to trust me!

[giglet.livejournal.com]

Uh, my first rule is: don't fuck up the primary relationship.

Which, I suppose, can mean that you just don't get caught.

Or you can get your SO to ok it. (Which is much more my style.)

Uh, beyond that, I don't have a lot of advice. I haven't done it often, I've never had sex with someone I hadn't known for *years*, it's never been particularly casual and I've never needed to get much more sophisticated than, "Hey, you know I love you. Want to make love?"

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Oh god, I precisely do *not* want love to be part of it because it's the bloody *love* thing that fucks up the primary relationship -- for me, anyway. The hubster is quite happy in his gallivants as his heart is never in it, just his body.

Or is that a man-woman thing?

[giglet.livejournal.com]

I don't think it's a man/woman thing, but I also don't think I have any advice, because I've never been able to deal with a one-night stand.

Good luck!

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

I have had precisely one one-night stand in my life and it was *awful*. (So in a way why do I want another one? Maybe I don't!!!) Then I had two love-thingies and I don't want that, either, because they *really* fucked me up and almost tore me asunder from t'man in my life.

Ach, hormones.

[giglet.livejournal.com]

Uh... maybe you need a fuck-buddy?

And I'd be interested in hearing how it goes. I'll be seeing my prime candidate for a one-night-stand in July, so I could use pointers.

Experience shows

[pecos.livejournal.com]

How do I have extra-marital sex? Right here, on this computer, darling, using my imagination and Orlando Bloom's body. Yum.

Re: Experience shows

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Mwuahah. Well, I hardly need advice on how to do *that*. I've been doing nothing but the fantasy for the past 14 months. Was hoping to get onto something less virtual some time in the next ten years.