Are you sitting down? Good.

[lobelia321]

Orlando as a little boy.

From The Sun.












EDITED TO ADD: If for some reason, they're not showing, try going to the article, clicking on the links or pasting the links into the address bar:

http://www.geocities.com/lobelia40/obaged3.txt
http://www.geocities.com/lobelia40/obaged4.txt
http://www.geocities.com/lobelia40/obaged11.txt
http://www.geocities.com/lobelia40/obaged18.txt

MORE EDIT: I'm trying again with different links:












*pinches self*

The article also has some new bits. Of especial interest to self (who is currently mesmerised by career!Orli) are the details about his salary. And, *waves frantically at freyafloyd: you were so right about his public school upbringing! Like, you know, he's probably even read the bleedin' Iliad, like.

*sits in state of stunnedness*

thejennabides: Are you still breathing?

Comments

[qthelights.livejournal.com]

*hyperventilates*

oh my god.. *squee's violently*

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

*tries to pass oxygen mask but collapses on floor instead*

[qthelights.livejournal.com]

I think my squee was so violent I may have ruptured an organ...

*sits catatonic like*

[cherry-glitter.livejournal.com]

I wish newspaper didn't scan so fuzzy. I want to know what his nose looked like before it was broken. *squints*

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Eeep. Information overload. Why does everyone know things I don't?

I didn't know his nose had been broken!!! (When, how, where?)

HIs nose *does* look sort of knobbly when a boy. The breaking seems to have slimlined it, bizarrely.

And I also didn't know that he'd lost his virginity aged 15!!! How can such things be in the public domain???

[cherry-glitter.livejournal.com]

A list of various things he's broken is in this article:

"I'm very accident-prone. I've broken my back, my ribs, my nose, both my legs, my arm, my wrist, a finger and a toe and cracked my skull three times."

And the virginity story comes from a Rolling Stone article:

" 'I was always meeting really cool European chicks,' says Bloom, who lost his virginity to 'an English rose' at fourteen. He's had a way with women ever since."

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

*speechless*

[cupiscent.livejournal.com]

I believe the word is "nng".

My eyes have glazed over staring at Orli-aged-18. Jeeeeesus. Why didn't we have any guys like that at my high school?

He makes me go nngk! In that good way.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

I am just *stunned* by the progression 3, 4, 11, 18. My lottery numbers for ever. I stare and stare and can't believe what happened in those crucial 4 missing years.

Well, I have since found out (where have I *been*??) that he lost his virginity aged 15 and broke his nose somewhere along the way, too. *echoes nnnnggg*

*stares at little!Orli for signs of future implosiveness*

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Oh, and I now *so* want to put 18!Orli next to baby!Dom!

omg wtf 111 @-@

*thud*

[blythely.livejournal.com]

I am so pleased that other people read the red-tops so I don't have to.

*shuffles saturday's Guardian

more details, pliz?

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Well, it's super-fucked because both lazulus and I found out about this too late and hence *did not buy the stupid newspaper*.

*gnashes teeth*

[freyafloyd.livejournal.com]

Of course I am right about the public school! I did research you know.

I thought Orlando lost his virginity at 14, but I may be remembering that wrongly. I think he may have sickeningly described the person he lost it to as an English rose.

Maybe I'm confusing the background info of the real Orli with Jenn's rpg Orli. Maybe it was 15. I don't know.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

How can you be so coherent and sensible about all of this? All of this, pics, info, everything, has reduced me to a helpless scribble!

lazulus claims that he was 15 when he lost his virginity to a 14-year old. No doubt she of the rose variety.

Nice pay packet, too.

[freyafloyd.livejournal.com]

Cheery glitter is saying it was Orli that was 14, according to link from Rolling Stone article. I think it is less squicky for Orli to have lost his virginity at 14 than to have lost his virginity to a 14 year old.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

I think it is less squicky for Orli to have lost his virginity at 14 than to have lost his virginity to a 14 year old.


Bizarrely, being the squick-resistrix that I am, I have to agree on this one.

Perhaps he lost his virginity to a 15-year old? In which case he was nailed by an "older woman"? How groovily pervy.

Well, lose his virginity he did. Has a penis. Used it. What more do we want?

[cherry-glitter.livejournal.com]

Well, lose his virginity he did. Has a penis. Used it. What more do we want?

Pictures?

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Yes! True!

I need to *see* that penis!

I have been needing to *SEE* that penis for weeks now!

[freyafloyd.livejournal.com]

You are presuming that he did the fucking, during this virginity losing event.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Aaaaaaaack.

*chokes on own saliva*

Lordy be, so I was. Well, I just *assumed* that an "English rose" would be a girl. Without a dildo.

I don't think he'd be divulging details about loss of *anal* virginity to the press. Do you?

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Still, *14* is young, eh, what?!

Although you, with your low purity scale, are probably just rolling your eyes at this.

[freyafloyd.livejournal.com]

Yes, it is young, too young.

I have considered that it may be a lie. It would be very Orlando to lie about when he lost his virginity.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Yes! I am strangely glomming onto this speculative suggestion. How absurd are we? Tell me, do you think it springs from having seen a pic *with his mother*? I suddenly veered off into space and had mumsy thoughts about my own sons, picturing them aged 11 and 18. And thinking, well, *my* sons arent' going to go gadding about with English roses at the age of 14, *stamps foot*.

Did he not leave home for London at age 16? Precocious laddie.

[freyafloyd.livejournal.com]

Well, I can only ever look at someone losing their virginity at 14 from a parent's point of view. I think it is far too young, and I think it is extremely unlikely that the kind of girls someone like Orlando was hanging around with in Canterbury would have sex at such a young age. Most people in the UK have not had sex by 16, never mind 14. From a satistical pov it is very unusual.

As for this 'he left home at 16, isn't he brave/streetwise/mature' argument that people keep bringing up.. well, I think not. From what I can work out about National Youth Theatre, it is a bit like boarding school. They house the pupils. They pupils' expenses are met. Orlando did three A levels. He wasn't working as a chimmney sweep paying his own rent.

It's like saying that Hugh Dancy is brave/streetwise/mature because he left home at 10 to board at school.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

It's like saying that Hugh Dancy is brave/streetwise/mature because he left home at 10 to board at school.

Yo dude.

*bursts out laughing* Good point!! But how terrible to send your child away to board aged ten!

[freyafloyd.livejournal.com]

Oh Hugh

[ios-pillow-book.livejournal.com]

ohmygodohmygodohmygod! And with dog. SÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜSS!

*clears throat* Yes, nice pics ;-)

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Yes, nice, aren't they.

*tries to look for brain but it has melted*