ranty panty
Sep. 18th, 2004 02:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lobelia321In recent weeks, I have read quite a few rants on a) the evils of Mary Sue, b) the evils of Americanisms in Harry Potter fic, c) the evils of clichés.
Today I read a fic, recced by a someone for its good use of magic. For that reason only, I forged on with this fic to the bitter end but really, I wanted to stop after the first five paragraphs. This is what I found on the first two pages alone:
- wrong use of lay -- I cannot stand reading the wrong use of lay. It makes me clench!![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sheldrake once had a handy little rhyme for memorising lay/lie/laid but it escapes me now. But what I do know is that this sentence grates! He lay the magazine open on the small table...
- ... before his lover had arrived
His lover! Actually, I cannot read fics that include the phrase 'his lover', unless it's used as crack or as irony or in dialogue. And I cannot bear this phrase if used simply to avoid repeating characters' names. What is wrong with repeating characters' names? I don't care how often I have to read the words Harry, Snape, Draco, Goyle -- if it means not having to read the words his lover!!!
- ...observing the older man
'The older man' was rife in lotrips as well. And it is invariably used for men in their forties. This means that I would always and inevitably be 'the older woman'. I object to this. Sometimes, in lotrips, 'the older man' was, however, also used for small age differences, as in Dom/Billy (age difference: 7 years). Why, oh why, introduce this phrase? I can only countenance it when the pov character does not know the other character so calls him the older man by default because there is another younger, unknown man there as well. As in: 'Oh my god, who are these people? They look scary. One of them is dark and scowling, and the other thin and scrawny. The older man is wielding a wand!' But in 99 percent of cases, 'the older man' is used to avoid using the proper name. See above! In addition, it is highly unlikely that the pov character would be thinking of their sexual partner as 'the older man' in a situation of intimacy (which the situation in this fic was).
- sidling
Similar to scooting, which wasn't used in this fic. It's the accruing of all these phrases! Their being crowded into one page!
- his lover Oh no, two paragraphs later it reappears! But we *know* this now!!!!
- sated as any young man of twenty-five gets
Sated? Any young man? We're in the middle of a sex scene and we're being informed of his age? And how sated *does* a man of 25 'get'? Is there a standard?
- buggering him senseless
There is a lot of shorthand 'senseless' fucking in fanfic. It is laziness on part of author. I want to see the senses swooning and I need detail of what it means in concrete terms to be 'senseless'. Are *all* the senses deadened? Is there no sensation left at all? Is the fuckee numbed? Or does this pertain to 'sense' as in 'good sense' or 'common sense'? The phrase is vague and meaningless!
- a bit of pre-coital fluid bubbling from the tip
Okay, this is not a cliché. Unlike the above, I had not read this one before. So I guess it is good for being original but it still makes my head hurt.
Now, the thing is, this fic did have the good magic that was promised by the reccer. It had a really good idea at its core somewhere. Which makes me think that this is such a pity: a good bunny hidden in a pile of manure.
After reading three paragraphs of this, I was desperate for a good old Americanism or even a blatant Mary Sue. Give me an 'ass' or a 'goddammit' any day if it means I get to avoid the older man and the misuse of lay!!
Today I read a fic, recced by a someone for its good use of magic. For that reason only, I forged on with this fic to the bitter end but really, I wanted to stop after the first five paragraphs. This is what I found on the first two pages alone:
- wrong use of lay -- I cannot stand reading the wrong use of lay. It makes me clench!
sheldrake once had a handy little rhyme for memorising lay/lie/laid but it escapes me now. But what I do know is that this sentence grates! He lay the magazine open on the small table...- ... before his lover had arrived
His lover! Actually, I cannot read fics that include the phrase 'his lover', unless it's used as crack or as irony or in dialogue. And I cannot bear this phrase if used simply to avoid repeating characters' names. What is wrong with repeating characters' names? I don't care how often I have to read the words Harry, Snape, Draco, Goyle -- if it means not having to read the words his lover!!!
- ...observing the older man
'The older man' was rife in lotrips as well. And it is invariably used for men in their forties. This means that I would always and inevitably be 'the older woman'. I object to this. Sometimes, in lotrips, 'the older man' was, however, also used for small age differences, as in Dom/Billy (age difference: 7 years). Why, oh why, introduce this phrase? I can only countenance it when the pov character does not know the other character so calls him the older man by default because there is another younger, unknown man there as well. As in: 'Oh my god, who are these people? They look scary. One of them is dark and scowling, and the other thin and scrawny. The older man is wielding a wand!' But in 99 percent of cases, 'the older man' is used to avoid using the proper name. See above! In addition, it is highly unlikely that the pov character would be thinking of their sexual partner as 'the older man' in a situation of intimacy (which the situation in this fic was).
- sidling
Similar to scooting, which wasn't used in this fic. It's the accruing of all these phrases! Their being crowded into one page!
- his lover Oh no, two paragraphs later it reappears! But we *know* this now!!!!
- sated as any young man of twenty-five gets
Sated? Any young man? We're in the middle of a sex scene and we're being informed of his age? And how sated *does* a man of 25 'get'? Is there a standard?
- buggering him senseless
There is a lot of shorthand 'senseless' fucking in fanfic. It is laziness on part of author. I want to see the senses swooning and I need detail of what it means in concrete terms to be 'senseless'. Are *all* the senses deadened? Is there no sensation left at all? Is the fuckee numbed? Or does this pertain to 'sense' as in 'good sense' or 'common sense'? The phrase is vague and meaningless!
- a bit of pre-coital fluid bubbling from the tip
Okay, this is not a cliché. Unlike the above, I had not read this one before. So I guess it is good for being original but it still makes my head hurt.
Now, the thing is, this fic did have the good magic that was promised by the reccer. It had a really good idea at its core somewhere. Which makes me think that this is such a pity: a good bunny hidden in a pile of manure.
After reading three paragraphs of this, I was desperate for a good old Americanism or even a blatant Mary Sue. Give me an 'ass' or a 'goddammit' any day if it means I get to avoid the older man and the misuse of lay!!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2004-09-18 05:03 pm (UTC)I'm not a fan of epithets, either (the lover, the older man, etc.), and, since their deployment almost inevitably signals an inexperienced writer who'll commit other crimes against fiction, I generally stop reading when one crops up. Why people use them when there's such a clear fannish backlash is a mystery to me; I've never seen anyone write a post saying, "Oh yeah, baby--it makes me so hot when writers call one of the guys 'the older man'", though I've seen loads of posts to the contrary. New writers, please leave the cave of fictional darkness!
Currenly, I'm feeling hostile toward shifts in point of view: this ruined an otherwise perfectly decent story for me the other day. I toyed with the idea of telling the author, but that can be so sticky.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-09-20 09:34 pm (UTC)*giggles insanely*
Yeah, that'll be the day. *snorfles* Come to think of it, 'the older man' outweighs 'the younger man' in fic, occurrence-wise. I am now suspecting that the fic writer, of relatively tender age, tends to identify with the 'younger' pov character. 'The older' is the marked signifier, the other one is just the neutral term.
Although, come to think of it some more, I have also read tedious 'the younger man' fics.
Shifting pov only bothers me if it occurs without motivation and haphazardly. If done cleverly, I adore it. I tend not to tell authors; I just rant behind their backs. :-)
(no subject)
Date: 2004-09-18 07:08 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-09-18 08:07 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-09-19 02:30 am (UTC)ROFL.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-09-20 09:36 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-09-20 09:35 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-09-20 09:36 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-09-18 11:08 pm (UTC)Now I wonder what fic it was. Can you wisper here in comments (you could just post and then delete it, it will be forwarded as it's posted, so nobody will see except me) [another attempt at puppy dog eyes]
But if to judge by the quotes you used, I would probably drop out very soon too.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-09-20 09:40 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-09-20 10:19 pm (UTC)I'll try and ask in another way, ok?
Lie means be horisontal, Present Simple. Right?
The past form of lie is ... here begins my trouble. Which of them which?
What does laid mean and what lain? I see, I should consult a dictionary, but they are all packed and I want to know now :)
(no subject)
Date: 2004-09-27 08:36 pm (UTC)Today he lies down. Yesterday he lay down.
to lay:
Ron is laying the table. Yesterday Ron laid the table.
And tomorrow he's expecting to get laid.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-09-27 10:08 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-09-30 09:18 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-09-19 02:03 am (UTC)sidling
Should only be used in crab fic.
how sated *does* a man of 25 'get'? Is there a standard?
Haaahaha!
buggering him senseless
To be followed by angstathon sequel where buggeree spends the rest of his life in hospital, staring and drooling. People gather around his bedside, whispering. "Terrible thing. He was buggered senseless, you know..."
a bit of pre-coital fluid bubbling from the tip
Blimey, that's... vaguely volcanic.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-09-20 09:41 pm (UTC)And I've been scouring my Memories for your lay/lie rhyme, with no success. Bugger. I used to have it on a stickie on my desktop but it's disappeared. Grr.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-09-19 02:29 am (UTC)*shudders*
(no subject)
Date: 2004-09-20 09:42 pm (UTC)OT friending comment.
Date: 2004-09-20 06:02 pm (UTC)- Bollywood! Your pretty Kajol-icon! I still remember your SRK-icon that said "if looks could lick" & I remember thinking "wow. That's strangely true." (I'm pretty much still a Bollywood newbie, but that's because I live in a country where Bollywood fans are a rare species and the movies aren't very available.)
- Bollywood-slash. Now there's a thing that doesn't get written too often. ;D (Have you written any yourself? Have you read any good stories? I'm curious.)
- I remember reading your fics back when I read loads of lotrips, and now I'm happy to see you writing my new favourite fandom, Harry Potter.
- I see you have footballslash friended! Yay for footieslash.
Hmm, what else. We share two friends! Um. Yeah. I always feel like leaving a little note when friending on why I'm friending. This turned out to be a little more than a tiny note, sorry about that. :]
Re: OT friending comment.
Date: 2004-09-20 09:47 pm (UTC)I keep looking for Bollywood slash but sadly, without success. But there is this picture!!! (It's Hrithik / Salman and not SRK but hey!)
What country are you in??
Re: OT friending comment.
Date: 2004-09-21 06:55 am (UTC)Hee, that picture! Some Bollywood films are so slashy, it's really quite surprising.
Re: OT friending comment.
Date: 2004-09-27 08:46 pm (UTC)And look: I've reinstated my SRK icon, just for you.
Your comment made me realise that I was missing it. :-)
Re: OT friending comment.
Date: 2004-09-28 09:28 am (UTC)Yay for that icon. It's just so clever & beautiful.
Re: OT friending comment.
Date: 2004-09-30 03:37 pm (UTC)Re: OT friending comment.
Date: 2004-09-27 08:46 pm (UTC)And look: I've reinstated my SRK icon, just for you.
Your comment made me realise that I was missing it. :-)