German lesson Nr One WARNING: NC-17/18/Adult

[lobelia321]

I thought I'd give everyone a little slashy German lesson.

This is for absolute beginners. :-)



German Lesson Nr 1



Das ist Rodney McKay.


Das ist Cristiano Ronaldo.


Cristiano Ronaldo lacht: "Hahaha."


Cristiano Ronaldo weint: "Buhuhu."


Rodney McKay trinkt.


Was trinkt Rodney McKay?
Er trinkt Kaffee.

Cristiano Ronaldo trinkt.


Was trinkt Cristiano Ronaldo?
Er trinkt Wasser.

Was trinkt Elijah Wood?
Er trinkt Coca Cola.

Was trinkt Draco Malfoy?
Er trinkt Rattentee.

Was macht Cristiano Ronaldo? Er weint.


Was macht Cristiano Ronaldo? Er lacht.


Was macht Rodney McKay? Er trinkt.




Part Two
Was machen Cristiano Ronaldo und Rodney McKay?
Sie trinken.



Was machen Cristiano Ronaldo und Draco Malfoy?
Sie ficken.
Cristiano Ronaldo: "Oh, oh, ja."
Draco Malfoy: "Mm, oh, mm."

Was machen Elijah Wood und Rodney McKay?
Sie ficken.

Was machen Captain Jack und Tiger Woods?
Sie ficken.


Grammar
THIRD PERSON SINGULAR MASCULINE
er lacht
er weint
er trinkt
er macht

THIRD PERSON PLURAL
sie lachen
sie weinen
sie trinken
sie machen
sie ficken

QUESTION
Was macht er?
Er trinkt.

Was machen Harry und Draco?
Sie ficken.

Vocab hints
Ratte = rat
Tee = tea
Rodney McKay = Rodney McKay
ficken = NC-17

Over to you: Excercises to practise!!! Cut'n'paste into comments

Was macht Cristiano Ronaldo? Er.........


Was macht Cristiano Ronaldo? Er .....


Was macht Cristiano Ronaldo? Er .....



Cristiano Ronaldo ......... Wasser
Rodney McKay ......... Kaffee.
Draco Malfoy ........ Rattentee.
Elijah Wood ........ Coca Cola.

Complete these sentences:
Cristiano Ronaldo und Rodney McKay .....
Draco Malfoy und Harry Potter .....
Elijah Wood und Tiger Woods .....
John Sheppard und Dr Who ....
Kaká und Deco .....
....... und ....... ............

In the next lesson, we will progress onto the direct accusative object. This is vital for true slashiness to occur.

Comments

[brightest-blue.livejournal.com]

Cristiano Ronaldo: "Oh, oh, ja."
Draco Malfoy: "Mm, oh, mm."

Hee. This is about as far as I can get with slash in German.

On to the exercises!

Was macht Cristiano Ronaldo? Er.........

behtet an Voldemort ??

Was macht Cristiano Ronaldo? Er.........

weint ueber Draco . . .

Was macht Cristiano Ronaldo? Er .....

bewaessert sein Auge???

Cristiano Ronaldo und Rodney McKay .....
Draco Malfoy und Harry Potter .....
Elijah Wood und Tiger Woods .....
John Sheppard und Dr Who ....
Kaká und Deco .....

ficken. All of them. Some questionable pairings there!

[junalele.livejournal.com]

>>Elijah Wood und Tiger Woods .....ficken.<<

*sporfles*

[brightest-blue.livejournal.com]

Hey, it wasn't my idea- I'm just doing the exercises like a bad good girl!

[junalele.livejournal.com]

Sure. But as lobelia321 said, that thing with Voldemort, that was your idea! ;)

[brightest-blue.livejournal.com]

But I'm innocent! (sort of) I would never have thought of Voldemort if she hadn't mentioned him! The rest is probably her fault too, except that I'm too tired to think of why. *g*

[junalele.livejournal.com]

All I know that I am totally innocent here. As always. *cough*

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

*cackles*

Questionable pairings?? Hm, whose LJ did you think you had stumbled into? *cackles some more* I was being universal! Trying to include all fans so that they might learn my lovely language!! Whereas I notice the people commenting seem all already to be very conversant in German so that backfired... *g*

Also re the questionable: you're the one who paired Cristiano Ronaldo and VOLDEMORT!!! *rubs eyes*

[brightest-blue.livejournal.com]

Also re the questionable: you're the one who paired Cristiano Ronaldo and VOLDEMORT!!! *rubs eyes*

You have infected me!

[mystisblom.livejournal.com]

OMG you just killed me esp. the ficken part *G*
But I have to say that I never used ficken, I'm more of a 'sie haben sex' kind of person. I know boring *sigh*
But I can say it. Ficken!

And I think I would prefer Rdoney and DW when it comes to unusuall pairings *G*

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

'Sie haben Sex'? Weird. I was thinking of 'bumsen' but didn't think English readers would recognise it when they saw it. Although the affinity to the word 'bum' has its appeal for slashers... *g* Also, 'sie haben Sex' is definitely too complicated for a beginner's lesson :-D

DW, now who is that? Should I know? David Wenham?

[grondfic.livejournal.com]

bumsen is fine. We all know that one, thanx to Liza Minnelli.

[junalele.livejournal.com]

Very nice. Putting your experience as a teacher to good use, I see. *sporfles*

But you don't think you've gotten out of the Draco/Cristiano one with those few lines, do you. ;)

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

*ducks*

I had hoped you wouldn't notice...

[junalele.livejournal.com]

*tries out booming voice* I see and notice everything! ;)

Which reminds me of that Rodney/Cristiano storylein which you said is sitting there in a notebook waiting to be typed and posted. *nudges gently*

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

P.S.

* * *A very happy birthday to you!!!* * *

[junalele.livejournal.com]

Hä?

[brightest-blue.livejournal.com]

Hessisch? o_O

[junalele.livejournal.com]

Eigentlich nur pure Verwirrung.

Oh, btw, you do understand German, right? Because now I'm confused which so fits with the 'hä?' from above but yes...

[brightest-blue.livejournal.com]

Yes, I do understand German. :-) Although I don't know if I still will by the time [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com] finishes her "tutorials!"

[junalele.livejournal.com]

LOL. Has she done another one then? *goes to check*

[brightest-blue.livejournal.com]

I don't know. She said there would be more, but maybe we've frightened her. *g*

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Nothing frightens the German tutor. *cracks cane on desk*

And Juna, um, didn't you say it was your birthday in a recent post???????

[junalele.livejournal.com]

Not frightened so much as not pleased. *cowers in the corner*

[miso-no-tsuki.livejournal.com]

They say you can find *anything* in the h'internet.
I just did.
*sporfles*
Danke Schon!

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

*cackles*

Hm, I never thought of it that way....

[travelingcarrot.livejournal.com]

Vielen Dank fur die Stunde. Hier sind meine Antworten:

Was macht Cristiano Ronaldo? Er denkt an Kaka und lacht.

Was macht Cristiano Ronaldo? Er denkt an Walcott und weint.

Was macht Cristiano Ronaldo? Er denkt zu viel an Walcott und musst sich abkuhlen.

Cristiano Ronaldo fickt unter Wasser.
Rodney McKay hat einen Fetisch der mit Kaffee zusammenhangt.
Draco Malfoy trinkt Rattentee als Aphrodisiakum.
Elijah Wood trinkt Coca Cola von Orlis Nabel.

Complete these sentences:
Cristiano Ronaldo und Rodney McKay ficken.
Draco Malfoy und Harry Potter ficken und es ist magisch.
Elijah Wood und Tiger Woods ficken nicht.
John Sheppard und Dr Who ficken im Tardis, wo alles ist grosser drinnen als aussen.
Kaká und Deco ficken.
Viggo und Orli ficken.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

*bursts out laughing*

*awards gold star*

[travelingcarrot.livejournal.com]

*blushes*

*sticks gold star proudly onto shirt*

I would seriously like to read slash in German. It's always so hard to learn the dirty stuff in another language. And sadly, although I speak five languages, I've only ever fucked in English. (But feel free to take us through it step by step!)

[eyebrowofdoom.livejournal.com]

hahahahaHAHAHA. YAY.

Ich spreche jetzt aber nicht so gut deutsch...

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Ned Kelly fickt Flipper.

[eyebrowofdoom.livejournal.com]

Das ist recht!

[eve-took.livejournal.com]

Haha, schön. :D

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

I still cannot understand why only people who already know German are taking my German lesson.... *is puzzled*

[droolfangrrl.livejournal.com]

*Raises her hand*

Um, Frau Professor Lobelia? Are you _sure_ about how you've translated that last verb correctly? I mean NC-17 isn't a verb at all, it's a classification/ category/ adjective and I know my last German class was like 20 years ago, and I don't remember ever seeing that word, but I think I know what I'm talking about.

*stoically awaits her certain doom.*