thamiris again
Apr. 14th, 2007 12:12 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lobelia321I continue to think about the death of ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
thamiris, about what she meant to me and so many others, about what an LJ death means and how we are figuring out how to deal with it. When a rl person dies, people go to a funeral, and this provides some sense of closure. I remember how important the funeral of his mother was for t'h. We LJ Friends don't have this option, especially in the case of someone like Thamiris who was very private about her real life and, as far as I know, met very few (if any?) of her LJ Friends irl. I thought I'd like to do something akin to wreath laying, e.g. by posting a virtual gift to her profile page, and lo! Many others had already thought of this, and there is a veritable forest of trees and flowers and chocolates there. This touched me strangely. I thought, everyone's sad and everyone's struggling with how to express it, so we're stumbling our way through this.
Also, I've been thinking, and I know others have found this too, how strange it is that I don't know what Thamiris looks like. This, it used to be thought, was a fundamental part of knowing someone. But in the LJ world this is not so. When a rl person dies, we remember what they look like, we gaze at a photo, and we also remember the places where they used to go. When I think of Thamiris, I think of her as her default icon, and when I think of her where she used to be, I picture in my mind the LJ lay-out, with the menu bar and the icons and the 'post comment' signs, and always the 99 'comments posted' that greeted her every post because she was so beloved.
So this is whatthamiris will forever be to me:
Her default icon. I feel strange posting it, hence the lj cut.
thamiris, about what she meant to me and so many others, about what an LJ death means and how we are figuring out how to deal with it. When a rl person dies, people go to a funeral, and this provides some sense of closure. I remember how important the funeral of his mother was for t'h. We LJ Friends don't have this option, especially in the case of someone like Thamiris who was very private about her real life and, as far as I know, met very few (if any?) of her LJ Friends irl. I thought I'd like to do something akin to wreath laying, e.g. by posting a virtual gift to her profile page, and lo! Many others had already thought of this, and there is a veritable forest of trees and flowers and chocolates there. This touched me strangely. I thought, everyone's sad and everyone's struggling with how to express it, so we're stumbling our way through this. Also, I've been thinking, and I know others have found this too, how strange it is that I don't know what Thamiris looks like. This, it used to be thought, was a fundamental part of knowing someone. But in the LJ world this is not so. When a rl person dies, we remember what they look like, we gaze at a photo, and we also remember the places where they used to go. When I think of Thamiris, I think of her as her default icon, and when I think of her where she used to be, I picture in my mind the LJ lay-out, with the menu bar and the icons and the 'post comment' signs, and always the 99 'comments posted' that greeted her every post because she was so beloved.
So this is what
thamiris will forever be to me: Her default icon. I feel strange posting it, hence the lj cut.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-15 10:38 pm (UTC)I too am having a hard time dealing with this loss. Although we weren't as close in recent years, she was a hugely influential person in my life. Anyone who thinks that internet friends aren't real friends doesn't understand how important someone can become even though you never meet them or only rarely.
I wish I had people who knew her to hug. I wish I had a memorial service to go to. I feel very alone in my grief, and I'm sure many, many others do as well.
Virtual hugs to you.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-16 09:57 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-20 10:28 pm (UTC)The con where I met her was in NYC about 7 years ago. I talked a little bit about the experience in a post in my own LJ. I'll try to recall more if you're interested.
As for photos, I know I had some photos post con, but I can no longer remember whether Tham was in any of them or whether they were all of the celebrity guests. I also can't remember whether I had printed photos or digital ones. I'll try to look when I get a chance. If they're digital, they were stored on the computer before this one, but I believe I saved a bunch of stuff from that hard drive.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-05-01 07:49 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-05-02 09:39 pm (UTC)